Kiss the Rain

2004-11-29T19:00:00.000+08:00

limerence-.

2004-11-29T10:01:00.000+08:00

When I was a child the story would say
Somebody would sweep you off your feet someday
That's what I hoped would happen with you
More than you could know
I wanted to tell you that my heart's in your hands
I prayed for the day when I would get the chance
Just when I worked up the courage to try
Much to my surprise
You had somebody else
Cuz these feelings I keep to myself
sigh, oh well, the last bit about me telling him, is false.hehe, it's just, if i cut that bit of the verse out then, it kinda has no proper ending. so i'll just assume he'll say what the song says, and that he has someone else. So im using alot of determination to NOT talk to him, to NOT see if he's online. and i know i can do it, coz if i dont, i'll just feel downhill from here onwards. not good. besides, if he wants to be my friend, he can IM me. it's not that tough.

2004-11-28T14:32:00.000+08:00

i am so annoyed. My damn eVisa thing isn't working, either that, or the form thingy they gave me was old and so some of the links have been changed and IM SO LOST! whatever, the world will figure something out later. yup
oh wells, i'm officially going SHOPPING to get my 'school uniform' for school. next year. i see no yellow or green (thank god) being stuck with that for the last 4 years when it isn't the best color is just quite sickening. though, i have to give credit to myself for not getting any more PLUS-SIZED than i already am and then having to buy a new skirt. lol. doubt they'd have a size bigger anyway. ahahah, mighty sad i tell you. tres tres tres triste.
so i bought 2 shirts for school, and i'll prolly need a sweater, a pullover and MORE TOPS! and possibly another pair of jeans. I only have 2 pairs so yea, i have a valid reason=) why don't i buy it there you ask? WELL BECAUSE..everyone will have the same thing. the problem with shopping is that there are just too many chain shops that are well, all the same! geez. So individuality would come with a price right, and that, i cannot pay.=). so yup, might as well get something totally plain and from singapore, that way, chances of someone having the same top as you goes down by 5% hehe, since half the people going there are going to be singaporeans, again, it defeats the purpose of buying something here. what is my point you ask? ahhh, lets jsut stick to customization and being ORIGINAL. if you have the time=), else, just buy some iron-on thing and iron it on or if all else fails, just endure the horror of seeing someone wear the same thing as you. it's quite mortifying though, if you ask me. tsk.
anyways, im happy now.no complaints except. will it just storm!?

2004-11-27T09:29:00.000+08:00

Last night was prom night. okay, AGAIN, i'll say it wasn't a prom because you'd have to actually have a date. If they made graduation night co-ed, it'd be weird though. One more hassle: finding myself a date. I mean, i've officially been single since forever and i don't mind it, until stupid love movies make me feel like i'm missing out on something. But hey, like i always say, i dont want to fall in love just to find myself hurt. I'm not brave like that, i can kill cockroaches, not shriek when a lizard falls on me, but i'm not brave enough to go through heartbreak. lol. maybe i should work on that unless i want to spend my life with 99 cats and a damn rocking chair. lol.
oh well, prom was really fun! it was much better than i thought and to think i wanted to back out.lol. it was great! i arrived there feeling pretty awkward and wishing i was anywhere but there because everyone was like staring at me, just those judging eyes stinging you. okay, maybe i was being self-concious (whats new?) so luckily grace was there, waiting for eudora so yea, we waited together. i felt like an ugly duckling or suckling pig. both was just as BAD and nisa's constant reminder that i was pretty wasn't working very well. But yea, when michelle arrived, i felt much better, and more comfortable.
So then we all went up to the place outside the ballroom and started taking photos! i would show you but i have no friggin idea how to do that. lol. so yea, just let me tell you i was the only one in a hot pink gown. ahhaah. what a sight eh? So everyone was like, why didnt you do your hair up? or how come you're not wearing makeup? and that made me feel realllly bad. I mean, i chose not to have anything done, no big hair, no makeup and right then, it seemed like a HUGE mistake. As if i was naked, you know that feeling? The makeup probably served as a tool that proved your maturity (?) and i felt so bare and open, like i had no mask or something. It totally sucked. I was wishing soo bad that someone had a blush or something but no such luck.so yea. I was trying to go for the au naturel look but lol, i think i just ended up being unhappy and bare and downright un-glam.
the dinner was better, maybe because it was darker in the ballroom so no one could see. haha! But yea, i took photos with everyone.. well, most of the people anyway and some teachers. The teachers were dressed to the nines! well, most anyways. Miss chua was gorgeous and so she won most well-dressed. i'd like to win that someday, 'miss well-dressed' lol. i think that's about the only thing i can do right. but i failed last night. ahahaha, but the dancing and dancing and shak'in kinda saved me because it was the only time i totally let go and danced like i owned the place. lol. oh yea and i was trying to teach michelle how to dance coz she never really danced before and eudora kept saying that she couldnt dance and i was like everyone can dance! hehe, just a matter or whether its bad or good! lol. the foood was yum! and i loved the mango pudding, it was like creamy and decadent. Not too heavy and the sour mango syrup was a nice contrast, like the tanginess and the sweetmness of the pudding was like a harmony. heheh, oh i love describing dessert, it's like writing a song. yupyup! The company was great too, sat with eudora and gang, kaili,songyi and michelle and it was a comfortable table of people. we were all like noisy and having fun. lol. i tell you, words cannot describe how perfect it felt. yup, just perfect.

2004-11-26T13:29:00.000+08:00

'i dont know... but i just wanna get to know ya'
-christina & nelly
hello! today is prom day. hahaha, is there even such a day as prom day? I'll just call it graduation day? anyway, i am pretty excited, even after all my babble about how it's really no big deal. I guess you kinda get in the mood of it all, pretty awesome!=) oh well, i had a blassst yest with nisa, and her lil sis. Liesah is sooo cute! and i'm glad she's going to crescent coz i like my school even though i kinda hate/love it. it's a love-hate relationship.. and right now, I LOVE IT! especially my teachers. I don't know what i'd do without them, they seem to be the fuel to my engine so i'll keep on striving and i dont ever ever want to forget any of them because they are the most wonderful people ever! i love mrs koh for her neverending energy and her passion for teaching and how she has a knack for making me remember everything important. and i love mr m and ms azlin for being crazy teachers..theyre just whacked.and mrs yip..aww man, her calmness is just so cool whenever i get frantic and panicky (which is very often) and she's always so patient! and mr tan and mrs leow.hehehe, mrs leow is funny! like realllly funny, she i doubt she realizes just how hilarious she can get esp when she twirling her curly hair, trying to think. Mr tan kinda got mad at me in sec 3 because i just slept right through all my physics lessons but this year, he really never gave up on me and helped me even when i had my ditzy moments and make a fool of myself. miss lee! she's totally funny too and entertaining. I have never had a more interesting english teacher, just gotta love her! and laoshi! ohmygosh..my a1 in chinese is half her work. she totally pushed me to be the best i could, even though i cant even speak the language accurately and she even made me love chinese and appreciate how beautiful it really is. who can forget ms chua. she's truly a devoted teacher with boundless energy and passion for teaching. i grew to love amath even more and i actually enjoy doing maths! i like the functions and the differenciation...everything! omg, i wish i could just do amath and nothing else.hahaha.actually, i'd rather sleep. and mrs tang! hahaah i know i kept annoying her last year but this year, she's always been there, helping me whenever i had problems and encouraging me to go for an A. and to think i used to fail before!
omg, i wouldnt love crescent as much as i do if not for these teachers. i reallly reaaaallllyyy love them to bits! yayyy!=)
oh well, i'm happy now..cloud nine...=)

No control..
im falling, so now you know.

2004-11-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

// everyone is so excited about prom. well, to be honest, you can really call it a prom because prom kinda came from the word promenade and you can't go to a promenade alone can you? well, i'm trying to use that word right, but i'm pretty much failing. so anyway, i just hope you get my point. I guess it's something pretty big, well its the closest we'll ever get to a school ball or formal, with dates and limosines, corsages and pretty tiaras, well, it's probably the highlight of being 16 here (in singapore) . Driving would probably be applicable in the US but never here. (no, i'm not being bitter) I'm actually, quite thankful really. The number of accidents that occur is appalling enough, with more reckless 16-yr-olds on the road, thinking theyve got it all now that they're all grown up and responsible, i think we'd just all die in road accidents. hehe. oh well, at school and everywhere really, everyones all excited about prom, getting ready their outfits, their dresses that touch the ground, their shoes that make them feel taller and all the glitter in their hair and make up on their faces. But i'm quite sick of it. heheh, i'm such a spoilsport.=) i mean, everyone goes ON and ON about the same thing and yea, it's probably good coz you never have awakward silences coz you just go 'so, have you gotten your prom dress?' and the other person will excitedly and readily offer you all her prom hints! instant ice-breaker! hahaha, trust me, it works. I think the funny thing would be people actually going to salons to do up their faces and their hair. Okay, i'm starting to be mean so i won't go on. I just think that the fun is doing these things yourself and the princess treatment should be saved for your wedding. okay, i promise i wont go on, it'll be ugly.
ANYWAY..
i cooked dinner tonight and it's prettty yum. well i havent really eaten it yet, it's on the dining table getting cold, while i wait for my mom . But i've been pinching at it and it's allright so far. well, it's normal dishes that we usually eat but hell, i cooked it! so it's gotta taste somewhat better, even if it's a little drier or something. hehehe.
well, more prom talks and thoughts await so imma leaveeee..//

POWERPUFF GIRLS!=).hehehe.
You should beware of the power of the three
They come to fight as fast as they can
They’re dangerous, yet fabulous
Professor Utonium made them its true
They are the colors of pink, green and blue
They’ll catch you in a blink of an eye
And do all before bed time

2004-11-23T20:36:00.000+08:00

ooooh.today was officially the most tiring day ever. i can feel every single muscle in my body ache. okay, i'm just being dramatic again, but seriously, my feeet are killing me and so's my back. curses. i walked from like 11.30 til 8. and IT KILLS! oh well, it was like.being at the gym working out but spending a whole lot of time laughing and being caught in the rain.okay details!
firstly, went out shoppping with michelle today. like the first time in a year.hahahaha how interesting. so i got me and my sis charms for our charm bracelets and its sooo cutee! i got myself a snowman and my sis a gingerbread man, you know, to remember christmas!=) then haahah michelle drank a whole lot of JUICE. carrot juice...yucccck! and we were walking aimlessly around orchard road and desperately finding a place to sitt coz we were just dead but yeaah, it was pretty useless cozzzz i was so unfortunate to NOT find any seats. curses. OKAAAY..moving on to the fun parts, we took photostickers! hahaha it was kinda funny coz we were like trying to decipher japanese.. we were pretty lucky, in that we guessed the correct buttons to press hahahah, luckyducks. then after laughing our way through the silly rain with my little pink brollie, she had to leave and then i met up with tricia!
TRICIA IS A BUNDLE OF FUN.hahahahah yes u are girlie and i'm so loooking forward to hanging out in aust!hahaah great fun awaitss!=)
okayy.. we just spent the whole time from 4 til 8.LAUGHING. yeaa, stomach toning lol. seriously, after like evry two sentences, we burst out laughing. it was as if ive known her for like..ever! but yeaa, haahaha, it was just like a laughing marathon. and she's reallly funny and we share all sorts of similiar sentiments and thats just fab!=) yayyyy!
it was greaat. just perfecto.

2004-11-22T20:47:00.000+08:00

Okay, i usually start off by saying HELLOOO and then tell you the updates of my day so here goes!
HELLOOOOO...
today was officially my LAST paper that kinda means.. party in my language (and probably shop too) hahaah which is actually quite befitting SINCE..i just bought new shoes. yes, i know, it's quite terribly actually i spend way way way too much. My mom always says that i have to be rich next time to keep up with my spending habit. yeaa, i have to agree on that like, 100% I mean, i feel so weird when i dont buy something.it's not like an addiction, it's just that i feel this incessant need to 'keep' up with myself and have something that probably is semi-cool. i'm not the cool type with great fashion sense or those that look good in anything they wear so it's like, buying something reallly great helps me feel better abt myself and all that other whatnots.
oh well, apart from crappy shopping habits, i went to court today to watch uncle jimmy cross-examine some dude. Apparently he's trying to help clear this lawyer's name, because he has been accused of something he didnt do, and the bad guys are kinda wanting to make him the scapegoat. yeaaa, what a complicated world. it was all pretty cool although i was yawning throughout and dying of the COLD! but yeaa, overall, had a smashing cool time. My uncle is the coolesT!=). hehe. and the judge was like 28 and a girl and she was totally cool.28 with such success..brill i tell you. i mean she's just a distruct judge but the prestige of that title is pretty fly! hehe. but i dont think i want to be a lawyer.. the whole black and whitem be serious thing is so NOT me, i'd probably die laughing at something the witness says or sth.
anyways... i'm off now..toodles!

2004-11-18T11:02:00.000+08:00

HELLOOOOO!!!
i am tres tres tres happppy!=).I FEEL LIKE A FREEE erm. BIRD! hahahaha, gross i hate birds.
oh well, you get what i mean.
IM FREEE.. totallly stress-free. yeaaa baby.=) oh well, i would be stress free if i wasnt stressing abt something else. i cant say what, buit it totally sucks. oooohh, guys are a headache.
moving on!
LETS TALK ABT WHAT MY LIFE IS GONNA BE LIKE.. erm, for the next 3 days.
friday: do nothing (except go to KL for cousin's wedding, wich is tres fun!)
saturday: do nothing (except play dress up wearing pretty clothes to the wedding.)
sunday: do nothing.
hehehe.
im having a freedom overdose, whoosh.
allrightey, i have no braincells left to think deeeply into what imma do, i just like doing..nothing=)
seee you.

2004-11-17T16:39:00.000+08:00

hello.
I HATE STUDYING.
whooo, i like saying that, my brains a little dizzy lizzy and i'm worn out. im TIRED of looking at ANYTHING that needs to be memorized.
YAY. lets hope tomorrow comes soon.soooner!
i know i know-i make NO sense. Quite comforting aqctually, at least i'm in a looopydeedoodaaah mood.
curses.
still bummed about yesterday.

tomorrows just another day, another day to spend my day, all by myself.

2004-10-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when
I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance
five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Hello! Today's practical was just like i expected, with a completely A-NOYYING chemistry paper and an all-right physics paper. I guess it's unfair to have both sections butt-easy, then where would the challenge be and its a test where it shows how much you've actually paid attention. Right now, i feel like i haven't done so all year. dear me.
Im having those stupid negative thoughts in my head again, about Australia, and i know, its been like what, my year-long dream to go away, but right now, that you're faced with it, you just want to scream and say, 'I Don't Know!' so sue me. I'm all confused now, and again. Life seems like such a big thing you know, to decide what you want to do when you're just a meagre 16! Sure, i say im grown up now and all that but there are also times when i render myself completely helpless and just wish i could crawl back into bed and not make any major decisions. Deciding what to have for lunch is hard enough.
But then again, we always have to suck it up and go ahead with life. Like the o levels. Its here now and last year, at this time, i would probably be skipping classes and sneaking food into the computer labs. we all change and it's this stupid unexopected things that kinda make you grow i guess. I mean, we're never gonna be ready-enough to handle things the best possible way. We will always look back and say 'if only...' well yea, but 'if only..' is something we say but we never did, and so i guess it's no point me stressing about things now. lets just move on and take things as they come.
mucho love.

2004-10-17T18:19:00.000+08:00

i am so completely drained. i feel like some mutant force has sucked out my energy, i ate cookies and they didnt restore any bit of my energy, this has got to spell disaster. oh well, moving on from the mant dramas of my life, i learnt something yesterday, and to you, it must be the most hilarious thing you've heard, heheeh.here goes: i learnt that busses do go on highways.
okayokay, stop laughing already.
so, anyway, to update you, this brave little girl went to VJC alone yesterday and it was super fun. The busride was interesting because it went by suntec and all that and UP THE HIGHWAYm and i hardly go toplaces like that on buses, so it was like an eyeopener.and i was like some 5 year old kid, seriously. so anyway, i was tons worried that i wouldnt know what stop to get off to for VJC and so there was this guy in the bus who was wearing the vjc uniform so i asked him where to get off and he so kindly told me. and the bonus was tht he was ultra cute so yeah. i seem to be braver when im alone, esp at asking people for directions, usually im a squirmish wreck. hah-hah.
and at the JC itself, the people were a whole lot friendlier than i expected. they were all sunshiney and smiling and shaking your hand.hahaha they seem alot more open to new people. And i arrived just in time to see their mass dance which was hilarious and entertaining.lol.
i saw ling there and it was like, super cool, finally, a friendly face.so yea, i liked vjc.the atmosphere is really friendly and super duper nice. so i think i might wanna go there after all.
then, i went to pjc which was HELL FAR for me, but again, interesting bussride because ive never been to choachukang, okay you can laugh now, and definitely not on a bus so yeah, there you go! i explored singapore in a day. thats quite cool if u ask me. To compare pjc to vjc would be unfair, but i prefer vjc to pjc, no offense though pjc does have a nice building and great atmosphere, like the field seems so open so freeee. yeap.
i'm drained.
I've yet to put a face to your name.
and i've yet to put a name to the word 'you'

2004-10-15T21:26:00.000+08:00

heheheeh. im seriously going. like, i got accepted!!! *squeals!* i'm extremely excited and very very very happy, i mean, i was worried about it so much, and now, its like, im set, to go! now, i just have to get emotionally prepared. anyway, i'm going to have to do up a whole list of things to get done, to buy, to prepare... *goes on and on* it could be exciting, doing all this planning, like, i dont know.hahha it would be slightly less impt that a wedding a suppose but its a HUGE thing. going away.im just 16 man.
anyway, i've decided, if i like VJC enough, i'll try out to get in, for the one month. yeap.decisions, decisions, decisions.
today was the last day of school and it affected me more than i can think. I was so overwhelmed with like 'wow' feelings. i didnt think it'd arrive that quickly, im glad i wont have to wake up at 6! but still, the routine of going to school and dragging myself to all my classes is quite comforting, knowing that its like a schedule. hahaha nevermind, you probably wont know what im trying to say. anyway, yeah, i'll miss all of you guys. and i'll miss the yellow and green. lol.
i never missed you, til today.

2004-10-12T20:40:00.000+08:00

hey.
i feel like i don't belong in your world.or maybe it's just me. thats allright, it doesn't matter if i dont, =).
my world is about to change.soon enough.
NEWS!
headlines: vic will so get accepted into trinity on sunday. *HEHEHE!*
i know.its terribly exciting.and im terribly excited!=)..omg.itd be like a new life, a whole new life, out with the old and in with the new. heheh, i like fresh starts, expescially when this old life is getting kinda dreary.
fresh beginning. i like the sound of that.
anyway, im beginning to HATE this having to decide what jc i want to go to for the first month. for the ONLY month i'll be in a jc. *frowns* i don't think i'd fit into acjc. or any jc for that matter. all my friends dont have the score scores and we all live somewhere else, so we can't go to the same jc.not that i'd fancy it much, i mean, the whole idea of moving on is well, to MOVE ON. so yeah, i'm still very very confused. so, if you have any ideas, then shoot allrightey?
anyway, im excited.about a new start. new beginning.new me. i'll start by walking tall and standing straight.

2004-10-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

Je te souhaite les étoiles
Je te souhaite la lumière
Et tout le bien sans le mal
Que je n'ai pas su te faire
Je te souhaite des voyages
Je te souhaite de partir
Vers les plus beaux paysages
Que je n'ai pas su t'offrir
Je te souhaite d'être heureux
Et tellement d'être aimé
D'en prendre tout ce que tu peux
Et autant que tu m'as donné
Je te souhaite tellement fort
Je te souhaite trop d'amour
Prends la vie à bras le corps
Puisque les miens sont trop courts
Je te souhaite de garder
A jamais mes 20 ans
Sans t'arrêter de rêver
Comme je l'ai fait trop longtemps
Je te souhaite tant de rires
Je te souhaite tant de temps
De fuir avant d'en souffrir
Ce que je n'ai pas su comprendre
Je te souhaite d'être heureux
Et tellement d'être aimé
D'en prendre tout ce que tu peux
Et autant que tu m'as donné
Je te souhaite tellement fort
Je te souhaite trop d'amour
Prends la vie à bras le corps
Puisque les miens sont trop courts
Sont trop courts
Je te souhaite d'être heureux
Et tellement d'être aimé
D'en prendre tout ce que tu peux
Et autant que tu m'as donné
Je te souhaite tellement fort
Je te souhaite trop d'amour
Prends la vie à bras le corps
Puisque les miens sont trop courts
Je te souhaite tellement fort
Je te souhaite trop d'amour
Prends la vie à bras le corps
Puisque les miens sont trop courts
Sont trop courts

i still dont know where to go.. what exactly do i want.

2004-10-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

i dont wanna go to where they want me to go. i want to go somewhere else. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO FAR? oh well, life i guess. i can;t have everything.hehehe.at least i got my lamb bag! yeayea!!=)..
am i really that stupid.why does everyone think i am. Nelson was like, no would would say vic is smart right, but she scored so well for her prelims. true.no one ever said im smart.or close to being capable. screw them. i'm smart and you know it. i just dont have to be smart all the time. right? or am i really dumb.
why.

2004-10-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

What you don't see, doesn't represent it's absence

I feel alot less prepared than i should and i know that dajie has been saying that people get into trinity with really mediocre scores and that i shouldn't worry. Thing is, i never doubted that i could get in, i just want to do so well, for me. People look at me and probably think i'm pretty much stupid. I'm not joking, my friends have said it to my face before and it's probably that, that keeps me going and keeps me studying harder. I know i always say i have nothing to prove to these people but let's just say, it's one of those 'wanna-prove -them-wrong-so-imma-do-well' things.
that motivation is working so far.

To drown in sorrow
only to find your ashes
in the trashcan
To be there
Only to realize
they never saw
or even felt
To be brave for them
only to look under your mask
and find the remians of
your own insecurity
To try so hard
only to realize
she never knew
or appreciated
and the flowers
thought you watered
too much, just too much
cared too much,
just too much,
would kill me
so kill me.

2004-10-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

So, you've managed to do it again
No worries, actually, I'm pretty much used to it.

moving on!
we have to write little things for each other, like testimonials, so that our form teacher, who hardly knows us, can write us a testimonial for school. oh well, I have yet to write anything about myself so needless to say, i better get started soon. somehow. If you ask me, how are we suppose to write our good qualities if we don't even know. i mean, you could be a big fat bitch and think the world of yourself and if you wrote that then, that testimonial is so gonna be a fake.
geez.
anyway, i went a little insane at school today, i started laughing into blank space. And you know the funny thing was, i was suppose to go out with Nisa, until i realized it wasnt gonna happen, but even before that, i kinda knew it. I seem to always know it. i wasn't suppose to talk about this. okay.moving on.
I have a ton of homework (and i bet everyone is complaining qbout that now, except maybe the sec 1,2 and 3's and the Pri 6's) oh you lucky ducks.
I can feel myself beginning to let go, be lazy all over again.i must not. and i will not.=)
anyway, I'm half excited about going to australia and half a little worried. i mean, it IS a whole new life. oh well, the world is SO HUGE and i could be so much more ifi allowed myself to. so i wont be afraid, and i will be brave=).*please give me strength*
and you, i wish you all the best when i'm not around.
and i do enjoy having the honour of my own company.

all you see are the grey clouds
which cover your eyes
and impairs your vision
from seeing the real color
of the sky
the blue streaked with white
the gold painted red
your eyes,
they cover what you could feel
but the grey, you'd think
would help you through
but they lie,
they make you wallow,
and cry and immerse in selfpity.
Neverending tears all you feel is pain,
because you never appreaciated the sunshine
that wakes with you every morning,
to greet you with a smile,
yet you turn away
just to search for the grey
that will never exist
if only you let the sunshine light up your day.

to resist it's love would kill
the only reason to live
the only reason why we feel
and to resist it's charm
would be a disaster,
to allow your eyes to be blinded
by all the things you flood your mind with
not knowing
that you could be brave enough
to love the sun as much
as the sun loved you,
to accept her arms
and let her wrap around you
and heal you.

2004-10-07T17:06:00.000+08:00

wheee!
i am so going to trinity now! as in.not literally. but i am going..soon enough.hahahah.im so excited.i guess i should be.after all, my grades are an unbelieveable achievement for me, that is. if you told me i'd score what i just did, at the beginning of the year, you'd be branded insane and completely crazy.=)..looks like its not the case now.
im totally glad.oh well, the alicia keys concert awaits.hehehe.
lovelove.
lets see: totaly points: 9
with bonus points:7
subject points:
english-A1
chinese-A1
science(phy/chem)-A1
emath-A1
amath-A2
combined humans-B4
literature-B3
biology-A2
*didi forget anything?
oh well, again, mucho love.=)

2004-10-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

soulmate stuff: http://lilmisssunshine6.tripod.com/foryou/
yeaap! go there.
anyway, i got back my prelim results. they are pretty good, i must say, if not i'll sound like a complete ingrate. but i am seriously disturbed by my social studies.i mean, i FAILED? i can't believe it. Not that i was any good at it in the first place but i usually get at least a C you know. im just.pretty much...shocked.
lets see.so far i've gotten back english, chinese (which was my o level result), e math, physics and a math.
so yeah. english A1, chinese A1, e math A1, physics A1, amath A2 and socialy studies, a pathetic D7. i know i know, it isnt the end of the world yet. still, it doesnt feel too good.
how can it right?
oh well, toodles. dont forget to sign my guestbook (i just got it up and running)
If I love you, Love You forever Promise me you'll never stop loving me, Never Never-anonymous

2004-10-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

for you (i promise i'll find you soon)
i hope you like peanut butter, because i love it
i hope you like oreos, esp when theyre blended in a milkshake.
i hope you agree that dessert is the best part of a meal
i hope you find the clear blue sky a wonder of the world
i hope you love bubbles, esp when they reflect pink and purple
i hope you'll hold my hand when i'm down
i hope you'll try to bake me cookies with extra choc chips on top(i'll still love you if you fail)
i hope you'll never make me drink beer (i got drunk on it once)
i hope you'll tell me if the brownies i bake are not fudgey enough
i hope you wont mind when i start giggling and laughing hysterically.
i hope you'll like snapple apple (if you say it real fast 'snappleapple' its really funny.promise)
i hope you'll like sushi =)
i hope you wont mind eating fried rice often (thats the only thing im good at cooking)
i hope you like the crunchy fries from Mackers coz i like the soggy ones. (we could share )
i hope you'll like whales and cows.
i hope you wont mind that i say sorry to the cows before i eat beef. (theyre actually kinda cute)
i hope you're good at math (or at least better at it than i am) so you can count the household expenses. (hehe) i'll do the grocery shopping.

*will update sooner.

2004-10-03T21:14:00.000+08:00

because i'll cry if i want to

alot of times, you feel so alone, as if you're empyty and numb, then you get all these warped feelings that kinda leads you to one conclusion, your heart is one darn confused organ. seriously. i mean, i cant decide if im happy about who i am right now or worried. Worried because i'm so full of insecurities although i know i could be so much more. or happy-because i've come a long way. From the one who failed at school, to the one people actually think, is smart. i don't know. sometimes i get a bit confused too. people use this word all too often-confused. Twisted emotions. so so twisted.
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help. i'll sing this to you when i find you.

2004-10-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

*i know that people say tt opposites attract
if thats the truth then we should be together forever
its like ive got nothing to do
but think about you*
i feel absolutely irritated with maths now, and i think ive just developed a phobia of it. well, for now, at least.
I just wanna take a break, without thinking at all about work.nothing at all. yeaahh.that'd be pretty awesome. hahaha, lately, i feel nothings quite good enough,can you believe i even think my blog is too ugly? or that it's hardly cool. dear me. i'm seriously disturbed.
i love life, and i'm gonna live it the best i can.=)
-you're it! you're the ultimate.-

2004-10-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

how come you didnt tell me you were sick
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me you take medicine everyday
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me you feel like you're taken for granted
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me you feel like you're being treated like dirt
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me you felt like dying sometimes
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me she drives you crazy with rage
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me you feel pessimistic sometimes
you didnt ask
how come you didnt tell me you wanted me to know
you didnt ask
how come you never ask. if im tired, if im allright, if im still holding on
well now you know.
know how you're expected to be a way, to ask a way? Who sets these expectations because im tired of it. im tired of being the same old trustworthy one, who's always there. when they call, when they come to aschool early, when they're in need of someone who's freakin stupid enough to actually care. it hasn't always been about me, so they can't say im selfish.
oh god, i have so much more to say, and i wish i could, but i cant. because im expected not to.

2004-09-29T17:23:00.000+08:00

bonjour.
i feel tres triste. i went to the WWF website and it makes me feel so down when all i can do is email people e-cards trying to get them to be interested in helping to save this world we live in. im not much of a nature person, i detest birds, i dont like mud or for that matter, being in forests or anything of that sort, but i can still help the world right? its not like i have to be there personally to admire earth and all its splendour. From photgraphs, they look just as alluring. so why wont people help the world? i try doing things to help, i dont use the airconditioner much now, i dont eat sharks fin, i dont eat the herbal jelly dessert that people love because its made of a part of a turtle. i dont waste paper, i try to save as much as i can, i dont litter and i try not to use too many plastic bags. i dont waste food and i dont waste water. so why do i still feel like i havent done anything to help this place.
i love whales.i really do, esp killer whales. i love lotsa animals too and as much as im afraid of being near them physically, i dont want them to die. i really dont, and i want them to be happy. i know it sounds stupid and childish and possibly ditzy too, well if im a ditz, at least i care. half the world is filled with rich people who can do something to help and the only reason why the even bother donating money is for publicity, i wonder if they really care. i wish they would just implement the policy of bringing your own bags during grocery shopping to help the earth. sure, we need plastic bags, but half the time i see them strwen by the roadside or in the seas. this doesnt make sense.
okay, i dont always save the earth but i try. maybe not hard enough huh.
i promise i'll try harder. =)
anyway i was just having one of those self-improvement thoughts running through my mind. Sometimes when i think about what i say and what i do, it seems so dumb, so shallow. well, does that make me a shallow person who does not know anything important about the earth. i mean, do i really only care abt my clothes or if my socks match? i'd like to think im worth more than that you know. I wouldn't want to walk around and find people only remember me as the girl who spent half her life worrying if her hair was fine or if her shoes were clean. I have ideas, i have opinions, i dont even know if i say them out loud. I dont necessarily have to be one stereotyped person. it doesnt mean i HAVE to be a complete bore if i love saving the world and it also doesnt mean im an idiot who a bimbo brain for liking to have nice clothes. i just realized, no one ever comes to talk to me about important things. they only come to me if they need someone to go out with, or someone with fashion advice. or someone who justs laughs alot. what about an intelligent conversation? if i portrayed myself as an idiot, i'd have done alot more dumb things, and if my character is to be happy, it doesnt mean im incapable of having serious thoughts. i dont only watch chick flicks, i watch shows that matter too, like discovery channel. Even my closest friends dont call until they need something.
wait, what am i doing, i dont have to prove anything. i dont have to justify whatever i do. im not harming anyone, in fact im helping people. you know what my warped brain, i think i like being a little silly sometimes and serious other times. i just wish people would take me seriously. do you even take yourself seriously vic?

entangled emotions
known to non
beating hearts
together as one
him to her
her to him
feelings suddenly dare to begin
she sits on a step
wishing he is
doing the same
thinking the same
feeling the same
-victoria

2004-09-28T10:45:00.000+08:00

here i go
now you know
what i feel about about you
there's no running
and i've fallen so now you know

hello! im at school now waiting for some SAJC talk to begin. you know the ACJC talk today was totally like.wow coz i felt like going to ACJC!! i know..ive got plans to go away and study somewhere else but i mean, its only normal to want to follow the norm and stay here before going abroad right? so yeah. im not sure if i want to go now. actually im quite certain.just some doubt about the future, you know..if i can cope or not..and i mean, i'll need my mom!
oh yeah.=)
anyway, cant wait for 16th oct! it'd be fun..well, that is if i decide to go and if im actually calm enough to go. its hardly 10 years away to my o's you know. but nonetheless, i never give up a chance to have fun! so yeah, see you.
tooodles.

2004-09-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

heyy.. okay this is a way overdue entry i should have posted like a million years ago. so recent happenings(okay not so recent)
1) passed my chi's o's! hahaha this weirdo got an A1. i know.unbelieveable for someone who sounds tres funny when speaking this language.
2) found 2 crushes.hahaha okay its just a joke! im still happy alone.yeaaap!
3) decided to really really go for my chef job. i love cooking!
4) decided to be more confident
5) still besties with nissy.

okiedokez! thats about it.. life's still pretty much intact. i just had my prelims and though it was pretty scary at first (obviously) the fact that its now over, makes you feel quite happy. like an unexplainable glee just knowing uve jumped past another one of those weird hurdles. i guess we all worry too much about things before they even hit you, like the prelims and whatnots and somehow we manage to deal. i hate being a worrywort.

2004-05-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

hahaah GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE FREE TOMORROW? hahaha yeaap!! BINGO! me.=) wheeeheee.hahaha i cant wait. calissa says that you REALLY look forward to the end of the exams if you studied real hard coz then you can like, RELAX.. does that mean i studied hard? lol, i GUESS i kinda did my fair share.. though i obviously slacked off sometimes (so sue me) but yeaaah shopping! beauty masks! movies! tv! HERE I COME.=).. it's pretty awesome knowing that youre gonna be like so totally free tomorrow though its only short lived coz like, i've got my chinese o levels to take which, if you ask me, is WAAAYYY to rushed. but yeah thats just me.
okay so my cough is getting a wittle worse coz now it's all phlegm-y. i know, i shall spare you the details, theyre not pretty so lets move on and let me tell you that HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE HALL ARE SICK! hahaha yeah prettymuch, it's like when i cough, then someone else starts and soon hahaha it SPREADS! i know i sound so amazed, believe me, my spirits are up now.=)..
so anyway, i'm going off now to start searching for a nice template..im pretty sick of this one.. i'm deciding to go al PINK. yeaapp.. so very girly of me.=).. anyway, i'll see you arnd.
dont hate me coz im beautiful.

2004-05-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

heyheyy... ooooh the tough papers are over and im currently so NOT revising for my biology paper tomorrow. i mean..im tired of homeostasis and sensory neurones.hahaha yeaap you so totally get the picture. okay heres a couple of tips i picked up from my sister's mag here goes:
how to get noticed the RIGHT way
1)lose the frown, gain the smile
2)stand up straight
3)realllllyyy listen to someone
4)look people in the eye
5)call a friend that you normally dont call
how to get noticed the WRONG way
1)be a show-off. theres a difference in being confident and a show-off. and being delibrately attention seeking can make you be remembered by others the wrong way
2)pretend to be into something you're not and following the crowd. who's gonna notice you anyway? you're all the same

okiedokez.haahhaha i'll ipdate long today sicne i'm free anyway. allright.. im totally in LOVE with yellowcard.im like addicted to the cd and i cant get enough!! and hahaha as much as i'mma sucker for girl-power pop like britney and spicegirls (yesyes), i like yellowcard tons.. and vertical horizon.. betcha didnt know that huh. hahaah and i love liz phair and joss stone and alicia keys and matchbox 20. allright enough of music.

i just realized that there are alot of things that i dont want to leave behind when i finish my o levels and right now hahah, i really dont want to even thinjk of leaving singapore i mean, whats so good about leaving your family and going off somewhere? and everything is going to be even more difficult and everything's gonna be a little more political and all that. i dont think im ready.

anyway.. nahhh i dont need to think about all this now..i'll just have fun. girls just wanna have fun *yeaaaaap!!*

2004-05-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

lol.im listening to my mom's queen cd.hahahaha lovelove bohemian rhapsody.its sooooo silly yet absolutely wacky.hahhah good for cheering you up.and with social studies and government scehemes floating in my head, i NEED LOADS OF CHEERING UP.. anyway im super tired and my arm aches and i wish it was next friday now.hahaahah..yayy..nissy i miss you!! we can go shopping soOon!!!!
and its like i never feel like im studying..maybe i\m NOT studying..oh gawd.im such a bad person. everyones like studying hard and staying up late and what do i do? SLEEP EARLY. oh gawddd. this is terrible. so not good*frowns*
oh well..

2004-04-30T16:17:00.000+08:00

wheeee...
the chinese mid years are over.yea baby! allrighty..ive just got my other subjects to get through.so totally NOT PLEASANT! anyway..i just realized something. I HAVE TO APPLY FOR COLLEGE SOON.hahahaha.oh lordy.i am getting like so old.=)..which is good and when im 25, i dont wanna grow old anymore. so totally not possible. anyway, whatever..long way
oh well, im happy today coz im gonna study (yes i know. weird!!) and im gonna BAKE oh yeaa..YAYAYAYYY!! sorry im hyper today. lol. anyway. dont hate me coz im beautiful. lovelove.

2004-04-24T15:23:00.000+08:00

hahaah.guess what...i just made a complete booboo of myself.hahaha coz like i thought the mid years were actually next week and lol, theyre actually the week after.lordy.
anyway, thats a relief coz i reaaaalllyyy cannot bear to study much. its pretty painful. anyway, im outie...tv calls!

2004-04-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

'you know that im only one call away'...
sigh, i kinda hate life now. i mean, yes i get stuff i want and yes im not unfortunately big or not entirely ugly but im just getting a little tired. a little worn out. im tired of thinking of homework or thinking of whether or not im studying hard enough. what if im totally NOT studying hard. and gawd, everythings so much more complicated
you know how when you're yonger theres less bitching around and less politics? you were friends for simple reasons and you were true friends. not like now when youre just worrying you've gonna stab you next. it was just barbies and lego. simple.
and then now, i think my younger sister hates me..or at least she hates it when i show that im growing up...like when i dress up, or shop endlessly or just go a little ditzy and then she throws me looks like 'i cant stand you' sometimes i cant stand her too but i dont throw looks. WHY DOES GROWING UP HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS.. when you feel no one around you supports you growing up. you think its easy? we dont exactly have a manual on how to make every goddamn person around happy you know? and what, im like just suppose to be this girl you WANT me to?
lifes a bitch. right back atcha.

2004-04-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

i feel horrible now. i havent been updating all that much and i actually, havent been online all that much. homework..schoolwork..studying.yeap you basically get the picture. anyway, heres my story. i got an improvement award at school two days back and now, i feel even worse. i wish i had never gotten it. it's now so now people have told me theyre proud of me and all and okay, that part rocks, i hardly have people come and tell me theyre proud of my ACADEMIC SCORES. so yeah, but then i get so stressed out because i feel as if i have to keep it up and IMPROVE. and i never knew it'd be this difficult. i mean, what if i NEVER do well enough or i dont study hard enough then what? everyone's gonna be sdisappointed? upset? and i'll be unhappy? stressed out?
and my headaches are beginning to get the better of me, i mean i go to school study and this freaking headache just attacks? and it cant be blmaed on my diet anymore because im avoiding cheese and ANY dairy products so yeah. and i reaaaallllyyy HATE my migraine. why me? i have eczema and migraine and i cant eat wheat, sugar, dairy stuff. i might as well just be crowned sick loser of the year. it's REALLLLY Bugging me. oh yes, you can tell me be strong, theyre other people who have it worse well, WHAT ABOUT THOSE YOU HAVE IT BETTER? argh. i mean dumb blondes who cannot sing get recording deals when all they're really paid for is to show their made-up face on the damn tv and smile. HELLO? i can so do that. oh wait, im not slim, leggy, blonde or beautiful. thanks for the trip back to reality.
argh. whatever.

2004-03-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

well, i guess in the end i fell but no one saw and in the end, it wasnt the falling down that caused us to lose because we hardly sucked, it was something else. i just dont know what.

2004-03-20T21:55:00.000+08:00

you're bringing on the heartbreak..
you're bringing on the heartbreak..oh yeaa..
today was well, enriching. yeap, i decided that i should'nt put my life on hold just because i haven't got anyone to go out with..no one to hang out with. i realize it's quite fine. i really wanted to send Katie's package off so yeah, got that done and it feels awesome! i had NO idea what to do tat the postoffice and i went to three postoffices because the previous 2 were closed.haha im such a ditz. yeah, and it felt really odd at first, you know, going out alone and watching all these people having fun with their friends and you're like. alone. and if you know me well, you know i dont thrive when im alone but today i actually did. okay i was pretty like weirded out when i didn't know what to do at the postoffice and i felt like a major embaarrassment but then i realized hey! i bet tons of other people have done silly things before and today's my turn. i guess i do silly things all the time like when i went up to BC and started talkin to him.lol. oh lordy i still cannot get over it, seriously, the vic i knew would've never done that but i guess she's changed.
after reading szeyen's diary i ask myself the question i havent asked myself lately, do i really have friends? do i have someone i can count on all the time? okay thats being unfair because my friends have their own lives too so i guess yes i do have friends, but not the type of friend i want to have but you see, that's fine i guess. everyone has their own lives and hey! i can't be there for everyone all the time either but you know, i just feel so alone sometimes and then when people are busy, it seems like theyre leaving me on purpose. but i get back up again and walk ahead. im such an idiot, i keep getting up just so i can let myself fall again.
But in the end, i'll only have me. and if i don't help myself up, no one will. you'd just let me fall.

2004-03-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

You brighten up the moon and stars at night
You keep me seeing rainbows in the sky
You bring new meaning to my life, now
I believe in miracles baby I'm forever yours, yours
song of the moment: yours by mariah.

2004-03-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

*squeals* yeaaah! the two rounds of muffins i baked came out brill! whoohoo! one step closer!=)
my sis and mom love them and so does my cousin. my dad reckons theyre not all that fab but lol, it doesnt matter does it? majority think its awesome so THAT COUNTS! tres bon!
oh lordy, it's been raining out and as much as i love it, im tired of stepping in puddles and worry my shoes will get wet. so sue me if thats ditzy.lol.i love my shoes! so anyway, tomorroww-LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. as in, for extra lessons.thank god. its torture waking up at 7 every morning like HELLOOO...this IS a vacay! allrightey, i have rehearsals tomorrow and im bummed.i have tons of homewoprk and im bummed too. and i wasted 2 days of going to school when i could've slept in and im bummed too. basically im feeling bummed out now, im tired and i need to space out. *grin*..yeapyeap!

2004-03-14T17:07:00.000+08:00

Who's gonna love you when
It all falls down, and
Who's gonna love you when
Your bankroll runs out
Who's gonna care when the novelty's over
When the star of the
Show isn't you anymore
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
Fall down...
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
Fall down...
im not feeling my best now. my dad went on about how i should get my friends to pay if they wanted me to bake stuff and bring them to school and like, so i'll have enough dosh to pay for the ingredients. but i cant do that, no one would wanna eat my crappy baking and why would they waste money on some lousy muffins or cookies anyway.
and my mom-oh lordy. we went grocery shopping and i needed blueberries and sour cream for muffins for my friends and she was going on about how she was trying to save cash and i was trying to spend it all and all that kinda stuff. sometimes i hate to think that my parents r unsupportive, but i do.
and then i hate to sound weak and all but sometimes i think screw baking.screw becoming a chef.screw everything.i mean, its so tremendouly important to get a degree and work hard and make lots of money.
*rolls eyes* get my drift? it really doesnt matter if its all miserable and stuff, its how this screwed up world works. and somehow it seems even more screwed up here. it's one fucking hellhole and it's eating me. and i hate it okay.i just do.
-sigh, you make me feel as if im never good enough-
maybe i shouldn't mope, you know, like wake up and realize how many other things there are in this world actually worth moping and crying over but im sorry, i really am, im selfish today. today it's all about me.
i went for lunch at nadaman, szeyen introduced it. i loved the tempura and the handroll and the teppanyaki. i was seriously full after. szeyen! how in the world can you eat that much?
but it doesn''t make me feel any better. i hate it.im grumpy and everything just feels so unreasonably wrong now.it just does.
-i wish i could yell at you to leave me alone-

2004-03-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

hey. okay if i said im fine, im really not and i wont blame ms maria tan for not choosing me and choosing some other girl who cannot sing. i wont blame her for not opening her ears and listening to me. but i will blame myself for not rising to the occasion and i will blame myself for giving her a reason not to choose me.
yeap.
i am thankful for everyone who cared for everyone who will always be there but why is it that you all have so much faith in me , so much more than i could ever have in me. why? what do you guys see in me that i dont, because right now, i feel like i cant sing and i feel like i cant do anything right.
*i wont rise to the occasion when you try to bring me down, because you cant bring me down for long, just long enough for my to realize that i can do much better than i think i will ever do*

2004-03-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

okay see i was going to write here sooner but i remembered i made szeyen stay up to write in her diary so i had better read it first before writing. so anyway, i had a brill time yesterday iceskating and all, think i totally improbved.whoohOo. and i was helping szeyen along the way surprisingly, im not tooo bad. hahaha.actually for a detailed description of yesterday, drop by szeyen's diary. shes like master of description.seriously.
last night i had this vivid dream as if it was real.sometimes i wish it was real. i was on the verge of crying and i wanted to go back to sleep so desperately but i couldnt. i just couldnt. sigh. you know how im always strong and always feeling confident and good and happy, what if im just acting? like you know, i do drama and maybe im just being who im suppose to be. what if im destined to be ALL alone forever... and since ive always wanted to be different (in a positive way), i wont be like average women. i'll end up with 99 cats and tons of knitting done in a night. oh lordy.this just gets worse and worse.
i believe we all have one true love,
somewhere in this world i do
lets just hope i find him soon.
moving alonnggg.. i just baked another batch of cookies using the hersheys recipe. hmm its pretty darn good. i dont fancy those cookies with this burnt taste innit so this suits me much better! yeaaah! tweedles. i just realized my writing style and szeyen's is soo different. her's is actually very well written while mine's just a pile of whatnots. oh lordy. im outie noww.Dont hate me coz im beautiful.
dont leave me in all this pain
dont leave me out in the rain
unbreak my heart
say you love me again
undo this hurt that u caused when you walked out the door
and walked out of my life
uncry these tears
ive cried so many nights.
come back and say you love me

2004-03-01T18:38:00.000+08:00

I CANT DO THIS! no i can. no i cant!. yes i can..
okay besides mental debates, ive been getting better as in-no more throwing up(only feeling like it) and no more headaches i beg to stop. yeap. i went to school today at like 2.30 hahaha, okay i mainly went to rehearse the dance for the auds and yeah, got that done! i think we're soo good we'll bring the house down. okay im just saying that to feel better, i never feel IM good enough.the groups good though.just not me. and like i went to watch the other people aud for awhile and omg! i cannot do this, I CANNOT SING. i cannot get on stage and DO THIS DAMN THING! i cant even remember MY SONG! i need to breathe..
i can sing, yeap i can and i can win...right? oh man, this so isnt working. i need food. loadza sinful food. i hope i imrpove on physics by alot then i can eat all the sinful food, i told myself i would if i passed physics by alot.yeapp.. well, i failed my emaths, i really didnt expect to fail THAT badly. im not joking.i feel like a loser no. and NO THIS DOESNT GIVE YOU LISCENSE TO CALL ME ONE. only i can. okay so i FEEL like a loser and basically, the only thing i can do about it is to ASK MY TEACHER TO HELP ME. yeap, i'll do that. i will. and *grins slightly* i got an A1 FOR CHINESE. *does the chicken dance* yeaah! all my hard work paid off! i guess hard work DOES pay off, now i'll work hard for maths and chem. i will. uh-huh. and yeaahh you'll hear me going YEAH I GOT AN A1 FOR MATHS AND CHEM. hahaa.maybe..probably huh.
Been feeling like nothing's been going my way lately
But I decided right here, right now, that my outlook's gonna change
That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
Everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feelin' like they won't let me live life
And take the time to look at what is mine
oh well, im outie.toooodlez.dont hate be coz im beautiful.

2004-02-27T18:29:00.000+08:00

am i suppose to be happy? am i suppose to be ecstatic? am i suppose to be perky and happy for everyone? well im not. and im not gonna be there for anyone and im not gonna listen to anyone cry ot help anyone right now.no i wont. i know it's selfish but im not gonna be sympathetic and im not gonna be tolerant.i'm just throwing a tantrum now and i have a right to. okay so no one said i can't but yeah, no smiles. im tired.im worn out, im pissed and im not gonna hide it.
phew.i feel better now, after being mean, but still, i hate it.screw this damn world and selfishly, in the back of my head, i want everyone to be miserable. sigh. donttake wht im saying to heart im just being a grump.
so to hell with being happy.who wants to be happy anyway. my back aches i fel like puking and oh wow, my auditions are next wed and i cant fuckin find a song thats right. WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY.i shldnt i know i shldnt but i do. oh wow vic, now you've become all conscious? oh screw this. i can hardly breathe properly, a girl i thought was my friend doesnt even bother if im sick or not and shes suchhhhh a major bitch i dont even know WHY i care and hellhellhelll, and if she reads this shes gonna think im a bad person. OH FUCK YOU.

2004-02-26T10:05:00.000+08:00

so i threw up 4 times yesterday and i still feel dead tired today but it's allright. i just watched legally blonde and i feel *laughs* empowered. im serious! it's like sometimes i feel like a total idiot coz everyone else is so smart but after you watch this show you go like, know what? if elle can do stuff like that, i can too. okay so its just a damn movie but if it can get me to feel motivated bout my life then id say its a brilliant movie. so yeap! wheeheee! go me!

2004-02-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

without youuu.where do i belong..*sings* i've finally found my song. *screams* yeaa!! hahaah, if you've heard me the past few weeks ive been practically going insane finding the PERFECT song. and wheee.. i found it. its saturday, i wish he's here...it's SATURDAY, he HAS to be here. but nooo, he's somewhere else, i dont know where..just not where i want him to be.*frowns* maybe tomorrow?
today i did some work coz my tests are here..i know i know, this isa TRES IMPORTANT year for me and i AM working..really. so yeap, just one step at a time.
yeap. *smiles* believe in me allright?

2004-02-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

screw all this dumb shit.okay im being bitter. like totally grinch-ed up and i cant help it. i wanted the world to be miserable, to be unhappy...why? WHY? im turning into someone who doesnt appreciate anything. this sucks. inside me my hearts turning round and i can hardly breathe, my minds in a mess and i cant speak.i dont want to speak. i feel numb. i dont want to feel numb. i want to feel all the emotions raging through me but im left here-alone. numb
i really wanted to be happy. i wanted to be independant but sometimes im left alone. again, with nothing to feel cheery about. ditzy vic..perky vic..they left.im left with me. the one who got lost somewhere .

2004-01-31T19:19:00.000+08:00

wheee.i love my sister!! she's gonna get me a pullover and a bag for no reason. sometimes im quite a sucky little sister, sometimes im good.hahaha.but yeah, i love her for being the bestest big sister ever. whoohOo!=)
im dead tired.seriously, i woke up at 8 and got ready for school coz i needed to get there to rehearsh the dance for the competition so yeah, got to school and i basically ran all the whole school looking for mr m and he was all the while, in the millenium classroom. *frowns* i was tired even before the dancing began, but luckily, the dance turned out good.yayyy!=). it turned out great! yeap! okay short update for a tired girl.im outie.dont hate me coz im beautiful.

2004-01-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

im outraged i mean i just read this girls blog (at least she CLAIMS to be a girl) and it is absolutely degrading how she puts across her ideas in such a low, sad way. i mean, she COULD pass of as a very confident, self-assured person but as you read on, lordy, it's downright rude. it's like racist-egoistical behaviour plastered all over her writing and geez man, grow up. what world do you live in, or rather, what world do you plan on living in. it's sad people like YOU who destroy the hope of having world peace and racial harmony because all they care about is labelling other people different from them. sure, you're a bitch, completely different from me but i dont make fun of your heritage or your culture. i just make fun of well, *grin* you. haahahah. it's obvious why you know. have you even READ your own english . it's just screaming 'mock my crappy english please'
sorry, im really ticked off by her. i know i shouldnt be because she isnt worth my time but im just so annoyed how its because of people like HER that make the chances of world peace drop by another inch every single day. you oughta to open your eyes and look the hell around, it isnt a single race world. snap out of your one tracked mind, time to grow up girlie. or at least find your brain somewhere amongst your over-confidence and your snobbish ways.
dont hate me coz im beautiful. actually i think you have many more reasons as to why you should hate me.

2004-01-25T18:21:00.000+08:00

whooHOo..new start, new beginning. i feel used. michelle's mom just called and i finally told her what i felt and my big sister told her off. yayy! i love my big sister. anyway, michelle: i think feel used by you. and for my own good, imma stay away. im no longer the one you can use as a scapegoat, no longer the one you think is bad influence. im my own girl and you can either treat me like a friend or back off.
anyway, besides feeling stronger and much more independant, i had a pretty good time at the photo thingy. haahha.the makeup guy and the photographer said i could be a model.how cool is that.and like, it's pretty odd coz im not your average small girl.hahaah.anyway, yeah..wheeee.=)
nisa and dawn and sandhya, i thank you guys, for being my real friends and not letting me down...thanks.=)

2004-01-25T11:28:00.000+08:00

*growls* i just read something totally nasty on someone's blog and it ticked me off real bad. obviously people are unaware how important it is to carry yourself well and be able to actually give a good first impression.hahaha.ooops, i forgot, you dont even give people impressions-people runaway before you can. anyway, okay aside from being a bitch today, im off..to some family photo thingamagig.*sigh*

2004-01-22T09:38:00.000+08:00

another new year. it's pretty cool, i was looking forward to it for ages.well, new yrs eve was a total diaster.almost. went to school, the usual yada yada. it was really annoying though coz shelle didnt do her homework and she got busted by ms malini so she spent the whole beginning of the day doing it while i was just roaming around, sneaking food and stuff. and then we went off to the concert in the hall which REEEKED of fish and cowdung (not literally, the concert just sucked). seriously.LORDY IT WAS NASTY.i know the school put in like tons of effort and stuff but really, it did seem nice at first but yeah, i got pretty tired of the euthusiasm. maybe coz i was being a prick and grouchy but yeah. i doubt many people actually wished the concert didnt end. okay im being an ungrateful brat so yeah, i was just having a reaaaly bad day so anyway, it was dreadfully long but it was nice, some bits of it, like certain dances but the sec 4 chinese society people couldnt dance if their lives depended on it. sheeer torture. i just closed my eyes and wished i was anywhere else but there. so then halfway through, michelle was suddenly called up by mr josef and she went and found out her MOM WAS AT SCHOOL.hahaha. which was a erm, pleasant surprise? *grin* lol and yeah so she left. but i hope her mom doesnt find out about THAT THING.hahaha. i cant elaborate coz everything i say will be used against me. how fun. and like lordy i was reminded of what a jerk eudora's mom was and what a jerk michelles mom is. but its allright.coz i know im gonna be mad whenever i think of how nasty they are but it's allright.coz like my sister said, i get mad only because i care and hell, i dont care if they pass or not. it still bugs, but i'll let go one day.theyre the ones caught up in their perfect world not me so yeah, have a nice life. oh well, it was kinda screwed up after that. *growls* kept going downhill. nisa was upset and mad, and my sister was moody and my mom was highstrung mad and i was just.whatever. yeah.you get the picture.all this crap on new yr's eve. i cant wait til new year.please note how excited i am.
anyway, at reunion dinner, it was allright.my dad was drunk and i hated every second of it when he was being a real jerk and so i jsut kept quiet and read the papers and ate.and talked to my cousins but thats about it.i wasnt in a mood for 'oh wow! this rocked' na-dah.
so yea, and i couldnt pick out what to wear and if you know me, thats just.bad. and i didnt look good, or feel good but hell, it doesnt matter, that was yesterday and today's a new day with no mistakes or bullshit jerkism so yeah, rock on vic.
im outie. dont hate me coz im beautiful.

2004-01-18T19:32:00.000+08:00

I don't know
I pretend I don't care
I see your name
But I don't know you

I hold on to the beginning
I don't want to know
The end
I want an in between

Its impossible
To love the air
To hold the clouds
For real existence

Nothing is left
Even before it began
But I still believe
That this is true

2004-01-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

oh sheesh.the chinese new year is just right around the corner and im feeling sick.my thorat feels hot, like it's burning up or something and im feeling really worn out and my minds a little fuzzy. i'm completely stoned and, i don't want to look at my homework.i KNOW i have to do it but this weekend, im really worn out, i don't know why.like yesterday, i slept for 2 hours and still, i felt soo damn tired. maybe it needs more sleep huh.
oh well, lets see, i've got english, maths, more maths, more maths, social studiess to do and i've yet to revise anything but you know what.im so tired, i really don't care, that is, for now at least.*yawn* i'm in dire need of some sleep.
i went for tuition today and it was soo hilarious.the people there are nice and the guys are funny and the girls are friendly.yay! and theres this guy who's really smart.or at least i think he is.eeep.he scares me sometimes, the way he knows the answers to stuff. *shudders* but he's nice=). so anyway, my teacher was really funny coz he was saying im crazy and that im loud and it's a good thing.*yippeee!* so yea. and he's a good teacher coz i understand everything.well, almost.cept for that mole thing. imma ask mrs leow. yeap.
okiedokiee.im still tired so im outie.dont hate me coz im beautiful.cyz.

2004-01-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

im feeling calm and alone.even though im not. today at school, we were doing some around the world things where miss lee made us name countries starting with a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l. and i wrote belgium for b.i think you should know why and miss lee told us to shout out our countries when the letter was mentioned and me and shelle souted BELGIUM really loud heee so, she chose it! but yeah, that just made me feel more alone.more stupid.more vulnerable.
and im listening to 'i could be the one ' by donna lewis and it's not helping because im feeling so alone. nise, im happy your life is going so well, mine's good but theres something missing.see i really didn't care for much, but now i do. i wont say it out loud, but i really do.
pourqoui.
dont hate me coz im beautiful.
je suis dans l'amour avec vous.

2004-01-15T18:15:00.000+08:00

bonjourrr.. im soo happy! wheee.hahaha.today it started off as a pretty crap day.firstly, miss chia was being a real skep head.like hello?! SHE TOOK MY DAMN MC and went around the school looking for mrs lai and then she couldnt find her so she went around to any teacher trying to tell them my mc's a fake.like BITCH! DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO TRUST PEOPLE U BIG LOSERHEAD.fuckin bitchass. anyway, then she went to miss tan and miss tan kept my mc and tt lame old hag didnt wanna tell me why the freak she took my mc and its even the original one.like HELLO? loser. and then i went to miss tan she said that the date looked a little wrong because the nurse who wrote the mc for me wrote jan 2003 and she cancelled and wrote 2004. which i totally understand can look a lil dubious but gawd.im not ticked about that.im ticked about miss chia like bitch! shes not even in charge of handling cases like that and shes just blatantly picking on me and i KNOW it everyone can see it and im not complaining coz ive done no wrong but im just mad that shes doubting me when im totally 100% innocent.like shes just so gonna make a fool of herself.that oughta teach her that maybe people do have better things to do than get caught twice for forgery? ass hole. fuckin asshole.i hope you rot with ur skinny pale dead body.
anyway, on to something actually worth talking about, i went to take loadzaa photos with michelle! went to melissa too but she went to look for her friends gift. wheeee.it was soo fun and the colors were awesome.whoohOo! c'est tres bon!
nisaa babe! i hope you're getting better.you dont wanna be sickitysick! *hugg* rest loadz.and it rained today! yayy! =) vous est tres heuruex right? heee.yayy! il de volonté amour toujours vous.wheee. ahahah.anyway, yeaa.mucho better now.not mad at old haggedy anymore.
oh well, imma go now...aurevoir. A bientot. dont hate me coz im beautiful.

2004-01-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

voila! c'est tres sexy yea? wheeeee!!! whoopiedeeedoOo!! hahaaha.nisa helped me with the links and all tt badaboom stuff.yayyyy!!1 *jumps around and screammms* okiedokieee.i wuvvv this skin coz its sooo pretty and like so extremely funky and soo RED.hahaah.i like red.its soo sexy and loud and fiery.wahahaha.okay okay.whatever.anyway, thanks nisa!! what would i do without you. and how did u get so good with the html? they didnt even have comps in the sea! (private joke) heee.anyway, je vous aime toujour!
oh well, today was like major bad morning and uber good day.wahahaha.i spilt water all oveer the floor at school today.i know,(gives u the LOOK) it's soo nasty. i had to like clean the FLOOR and i wet some of qi's books by accident.sorry girlie. but yeah alls well. me and szeyen went ooompaaabaloooompaa during english lesson. coz we were laughing our asses of at opractically nothing.hahaha.i know (gives you the LOOK) it's pure insanity. but yeah that cheered me up loadz. and me and shelle were on PINEAPPLE TART EATING spreee.yumyumyumm.cant wait.chinese new years like.so freakin nearrr.i can feel it already.wheeee.the schools all red with banners coz its chinese new yearrrr..wahhhoOo!! *skreams* anyway, yayyers.my dad is back and my big sista will be back soon.family powerrr.miss my sister.*huggg dajie*
anyway..im outie. dont hate me coz im beautiful.

2004-01-13T16:25:00.000+08:00

ICTCHYY
arghhhh..i am sooo freakin ITCHY! omgggg.it iches so bad.ive got these nutcase rashes on my neck and behind my ears and near my cheeks and FUG IT! it's soo nasty.lordy i am disfigured.it isnt funny.*screams in distress* WHY WOULD YOU GO AWAY RASHES? gawd.worse thing is, i dont even know where they came from.no one will understand my pain.sighhh
sigh.stupid rashes.stupid stupid. anyway, my mom spent like 200 bucks on some cream to remove me darn scars coz im so scarred so yeah, it's working.whooHoO.that oughta add some prospective huh.gawd.still isnt helping.im dying of frustration.
anyway, i officially love grace! hahaha.she's so funny.today during PE we were talking about makeup and beauty-yet again- and she takes me seriously! not like some people who just think im an utter ditzhead. because i am not.but anyway, she actually listened and got herself a toner and whooHoO, he skin's totally clearer now and yayy grace, you're gona be gorge on prom dayyy.which is like.ages away.but yeah.haahah.you get what i mean.
*scratching her rashes* anyway, yeahhh.i miss dawn and nisa so bad.i wish they were the same age as me and we were in the same class.we'd be having sooo mucho fun! *hug dawn**hug nise*
oh well, cant wait for cny! all the clothes..all the fooooddd. ive been practically starved from suga. yumyumm.cant wait.

2004-01-09T22:04:00.000+08:00

i am so annoyed.ANNOYED I TELL YOU. annoyed.i cant stop saying that word.annoyed. arghh.everythings so wrong.or maybe im just wrong.wrong state of mind right now.argh.everythings so dreary and so draggy.like eff.
anyway, no ones around, no ones round right now.i dont care.i really dont.go away. leave. oh whatever.even britney cant cheer me up.nor a mag with xtina on the cover.
i am so freakin mood-swinged up.argh.attention. WHO THE FREAK DO I GET ATTENTION FROM. whatever.again.
just fcuk off. leave me but dont go.

2004-01-07T15:34:00.000+08:00

ah.i feel so diffrent now.anyway, ive been bummed with sooo much homework and whooHoo.ive finally completed them.which is tres bon. but yeah.things kinda freaking SUCK at school.i miss dawn coz theres no one to muck arnd with and no one to talk to.i feel so alone at school.its hardly the same.michelle's a stressed up case and shes all homework and assesments. i KNOW she's really concerned about scoring but seriously, she'll have a breakdown sooner or later. anyway. she wont listen to me so yeah.we'll just pray yea. so once again im alone.no dawn. no one to muck arnd with.no one to talk about stuff with.or gossip. because it's hardly the same.

2004-01-01T15:55:00.000+08:00

whooHoO.happy new yearr! so many things happened this year and i KNOW it's cloche but omg, i think i've grown so much.now, i know the TRUE me and i know what i am and im not longer afraid to show it.i mean, who's ever heard of a QUIET vic or a stern vic. GEEEZ. im loud, crazy, weird, short tempaered, fun and im not afraid to show it.whooHoO!
anyway, okay so now, i like britney and i used to hate her coz everyone did and i didnt realize how strong she actually is and i LOVE christina and i mean, who says you cant like britney and christina at the same time. theyre both incredible and you know it.you just wont admit it.heee.=)
and i love being all girly and so what if i like dresses.hahaah.okay not that i wear them loadz but hey, im allowed to dream i have j.lo's wardrobe. anyway, im glad i have whatever i have and im gonna try to get whatever i dont have. hah.that is, in all the positive light.nbot negative.yayyy.

2003-12-30T21:16:00.000+08:00

today i went out with sand,serene,dennis and alex.and then it felt so simple, just a couple of good friends hanging out but it took pretty long before we all actually could set a date to hangout. a day where we would actually see each other. no more typing, no emoticons. just the normal way, hanging out.
you know, everything could be gone one day. we would all go seperate ways and maybe say 'gee, i used to have a friend called serene' or 'i used to have a friend called dennis' either way, note the past tense. would we all not be friends anymore? JC is a big stepping stone for both alex and dennis and slowly we would one day be strangers. the people who never talked anymore. i dont like this business of letting go but how can i hold onto something so fragile. and with one grab, it would shatter everything.
i dont know if i'll have the same problems moving on and letting go next time, but i know thats one part of change i dont like.

2003-12-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

okay, for this song, change all the 'girl' to 'boy'
I don't know how
I don't know why
But girl it seems
You've touched my life
You're in my dreams
You're in my heart
I'm by myself
When we're apart

Something strange has come over me
A raging wind across my seas
And girl you know that your eyes are to blame
And what am I suppose to do(suppose to do)
If I can't get over you(get over you)
And come to find that you don't feel the same

Chorus:
Cause I'm falling,falling
Girl I'm falling for you
And I pray you're falling too
I've been falling,falling
Ever since the moment
I laid eyes on you

Falling,falling,falling
When I laid eyes on you
Falling,falling,falling

I lose my step
I lose my ground
I lose myself
When you're around
I'm holding on
For my life
To keep from drowning
In your eyes,yeah

Girl what have you done to me
To make me fall so desperately
To think thatI don't even know your name,no no
And how am I suppose to live(suppose to live)
And you decide that you don't feeel the same,yeah

Chorus:
Cause I'm falling,falling
Girl I'm falling for you
And I pray you're falling too
I've been falling,falling

Falling - Will you stay or will you go
Heavens - Heaven knows what my future holds
Questions - Questions linger on my mind
Daybreak - From daybreak till dark of night
I'm falling - I don't know what's come over me

Can't you see that I'm falling,falling
Girl I'm falling for you
And I pray you're falling to,yeah yeah
Falling,falling(girl I'm falling)
Ever since the moment
I laid eyes on you
Oh...I'm falling

2003-12-26T19:02:00.000+08:00

im feeling positively weird right now. like, its all a dream.all that has happened. i know you might probably think its trivial compared to everything else but feeling this magical feeling seep into your mind everytime something reminds me of him is pretty important too. i know he's just the beautiful stranger i know and falling in love is completely irrational but its just there.this feeling where you feel magical and floaty but yet at the same time you are unsure it even exists then you feel sad because you need reassurance and happy because just the very thought sends u on a sugar high.its like that and it's making me feel all tangled. but i guess that's how things are right?

2003-12-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

do you think its possible to like someone just with one conversation that lasted for 10 minutes and uve only met him for less than a day? hahaha.lordy.im going mad.
so anywaayyyyeee... merrry christmas! i opened all my presents and whoohOoO..my fave has to be the mini refrigerator my aunt gave me and my lil sis.hahahaa.its now filled with chocs and in my rooommm.whooHooo!! so anyway, im pretty worn out still from the trip and im getting used to the timing back here.which is good.yayyers. anyway, im not one for LOOONNNNGGG entries so imma go offf...keep u posted.

2003-12-24T10:40:00.000+08:00

IM BACCCCCCKKKK!
wheeeeeeee.i had the best time.i missewd u guys though!! awwwww.hahahaha.i bought so much clothes, mini skirts.cant believe i bought that.hahaah but theyre alll soooo coooool! the one thing i learnt from this trip is that i shldnt be bothered abt what other people say or do, i just gotta be me.wheeeee!~!!!

2003-12-11T11:31:00.000+08:00

okiedokieee..i'll be leavin for austrlia at 9 tonight so yeahh.ttfN everyone!! i cant wait.the very prospect of going to see christina aguilera live is soooo mind bogglingly awesomeeee.its wicked. im halfway done packing ive yet to stuff all my clothes and whatnots into my luggage so yeah. and im off to meet nisa later.yayy! i wonder hows the weather like right now. people say its sunny but cool so it isnt hot but yeahh.gotta work on my soontobe killer tan.haahhah. imma learn surfing, that is, if i dare to even get into my swimming outfit.hahaha. im pretty excited. ive evern gone online to check out the prices of the clothes there and where the sales are and all that stuff.hahaha.a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. TTFN!

2003-12-10T10:47:00.000+08:00

oh-my-gawwwdddddddd....my life is tooo fucking goood nowwwww...omg...IM LEAVING FOR AUSTRALIA TOMORROW AND I AM GOING TO BRISBANE THE SAME TIME CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS HAVING HER CONCERT THERE AND erm...THIS BABE HAS TICKETS TO HER SOLDOUT CONCERT.....freakkkkyyyy.i am sooooooooo excited!!! can't stand it.all the things that are happening now.wow..bite me!

2003-12-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

heyaaa.okay i havent written here in ages which is like, bad. so anyway. after having the worssst flu so far, its SLOWLY clearing up.still gross as ever but yeah, pheww.GET WELL BY THURSDAYYY!! so anyway.yea.hahaha.i went to watch ELF yesterday and OMGOMGOMG.i lovveeeeddddd it.i laughed so damn much til everyone was starin at me and then when the 'elf' man knocked into the lockers during the movie, i was like 'OUCH!' and everyone stared at me.hahaha.whooopsiedaisy.so yeah.lol. that was about the most fun part so far. im on my wheat free sugar free diet thingy again and yeah, i hateee it. and i was fiddling with my hair and wheee.i found more ways of styling whatever's left of my hair.hahahaha.yeappppers. okiedokie.imma goo.ciaozy!

2003-12-02T20:43:00.000+08:00

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee.
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies.
Well, I'm all grown up now,
But still need help somehow.
I'm not a chile but my heart still can dream.

So here's my lifelong wish,
my grown-up christmas list,
not for myself, but for a world in need:

No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Ev'ry one would have a friend,
that right would always win,
and love would never end:
This is my grown-up christmas list.

As children we believed
the grandest sight to see
was something lovely wrapped beneash the tree.
Well, heaven surely knows
that packages and bows
can never heal a hurting human soul.

No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Ev'ry one would have a friend,
that right would always win,
and love would never end:
This is my grown-up christmas list.

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth!

There'd be...
No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Ev'ry one would have a friend,
that right would always win,
and love would never end:
This is my grown-up christmas list,
this is my only lifelong wish,

This is my Grown-up Christmas List!

2003-12-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

im tired, and frustrated and sick.my damn back aches like hell and my nose is stuffed and whats going on down south is driving me mad!i couldnt sleep properly last night and i kept waking up to blow my nose and then i couldnt sleep and my head hurt so bad and i was crying and gawd, this sucks, reallly bad.i want my mommmy!
maybe by next thursday, i'll be fine and then i can go off to australia happy and ready for anything thats gonna come my way.yeah,maybe thats how its all planned. but right now, its torture.gawd.

2003-11-28T17:43:00.000+08:00

'splish splash' wheeee. i had to go all the way to taka just to pick nisa up coz jon missed her too much (secret joke) and on my way there, i was a total fashion disaster. yeah.i wore my pink boardies and my maroon jacket coz like, both were water proof and those two colors obviously dont match but yeah, anyway, i was jumping into puddles, while wearing my pink flipflops and like yea.hahahah.it got all squidgy but it was fun.ahahah.and i jumped into this huggeeee puddle and nisa screamed like mad.hahahaahah.=Pp.silly nisa. oh well, it was fun.squidgy..=) and nisa was in her HIGH HIGH HEELS.hahahaah.how fun.=P.
anyway, came back and did her beauty regime. like started by eating.haahah.its impt to eat. and then she did her facial mask courtesy of moi. and then all tt stuff.and her eyeshadow.hahaha.it was funny i kept using all these weird colors on her.lol.sorrry nise.lol.finally we settled in using a beige and a choc brown.its niceee.smoky and like sophisticated.lol. and i did her hair.wheee.totally NICE! you know, i bought the curling iron for me but now, since my hair is short i cant use it.so she gets the privilege of using it first.and her curls were nice! WHOS THE SMART GIRL.wheeee.
oh well nisaa..I HOPE U HAVE FUNNN!!=)

2003-11-28T09:52:00.000+08:00

okayy.UPDATESSSSS..
firstly, ive got back my tagboard since everyong liked it better.so you guys BETTER TAG ME.. yeaa.it kinda screwed up my template a little but yeah..alls good.
secondly, i went to auntie cynthia's concert last night and woooowwwww.it was fantastic!! like sooo.wheeee! and now i wanna be a superstar even moreee..imagine, blah blah presents, VICTORIA in concert, one night only. wheeeeeee. lol.and like, i felt a little underdressed but everyone liked my new haircut.so yayyy.
third, YEA, i got a new haircut..its like.WOWWW ultra funky and moddd. whoohooo. and coz my hair is lilke streaky different colored, so yeaa.lks even betterr! hahaah.i finally didnt have to go to some cheapo place coz my mom brought me to the place she goes to and the DIFFERENCE in the cuts man.even though it was similiar to my old haircut, the lady was so meticulous..it rocked.and HAH, i lk gooooodddd
anyway..yea.thats about it.

2003-11-24T11:47:00.000+08:00

im free now.i feel freeed. it feels mucho better. sometimes i think he lives in his own dreamworld.hahaha.im too lazy to explain. anyway, i feel christmasy. wheee.okay.ive nth better to write anymore.so imma gooo..

2003-11-22T14:14:00.000+08:00

ahhh.i dont like free mountain bikes, coz they dont work! my stupid sparkly orange bike is soo crap. my dad has to like go get it fixed coz theyve got uber crap tires. tres triste. its like, we went to pump the tyres up, and we realized the tyres were stupid and destroyed already coz the rubber kepy coming off the metal frame.i mean, DUDE... argh. but yeah, my dad's gonna bring me cd shopping later.wheeee!=)
imma get:
-hotel paper by michelle branch
-britney by britney spears
yayyy...=)
and maybe this latino cd i heard.but its 50 bucks.but for 2 cds coz it's imported.ahh.i dont know.imma see my dads mood. anyway, niseee, babe, i hope you're feeling better.=)

2003-11-22T10:00:00.000+08:00

heyaaa...
i totally dig britney;s new album.i reaaallllly like it.=). weird but true.whOohoo! its just so, everything/ funky, dancey, girl powery, sexy.
so yeah.=). *all my people in the crowd let me see you danceeee*
i cant exactly describe how im feeling now, but i know, its good.=) Andm 5 days to get over a guy is record breaking.usually it takes me one.=)

You are Orange.
You are outgoing and optomistic. You always try to
find the bright spot in everything. You are
energetic and people are naturally attracted to
you. However, you are not always sure of what
your purpose or goals are.
Most Compatible With: Fresh Mint

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-11-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

You are glucose. People feed off of you. You are
sweet, caring, and a source of energy for
everyone around you. You can inspire others
with your creativity and depth, and you can
keep people alive when in times of famine.
People love you...or at least the way you
taste.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
the color of your soul is pink. you're always so
outgoing and fun, but stop and take a careful
look at life at times. being too happy could
get you hurt, for you're being a bit careless.
you take life for granted.

what color is your soul ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-11-21T12:14:00.000+08:00

okay.i KNOW i shouldnt be bothered that his o's end today but yeah. anyway, i;m really giving up.and im really tired so i'm just gonna leave things. im just bummed that he seems to let everything go like our friendship was like THAT unimportant. i could be wrong.but gee, i feel like im right.
anyway, i went crazy just now.hahaha.i started laughing like crazy and me and my sis and my cousin were like nutcases laughing so dammit loud.and guess what! IMMA GET A BICYCLE! wheee.some free mountain bike that came with our fridge. oohlala.tres bien! anyway, wheee.i wanna spray it pink and white. or maybe pink and black. or maybe pink and silver. i love pink! hahaah.
[pinky and the brainnn]

2003-11-20T14:26:00.000+08:00

read these lips babe I=D=O=N=T=N=E=E=D=Y=O=U
THANKEWVERYMUCH.
whooosh.i feel so much better.

2003-11-19T09:40:00.000+08:00

you dont know anything do you? You dont know how im trying to be happy. You dont know how i'm trying to act nonchalent when you dont text. But i'll be just fine. You never know anything and i doubt you want to know. The monster in the cupboard isnt that scary, in fact, she isn't even a monster. She's just this stupid fairy sitting on a dumb toadstool crying her eyes out because you wont even give her a chance to show that she's not what everyone thinks she is. You never know anything because you never ask. If i gave you a chance to ask that crying fairy anything, and i promised she wouldn't lie.what would you ask? i'm thinking along the lines of 'basketball'? The crying fairy wants to be no longer the one who cries anymore. If you won't bother, the why should she bother? she'd sing 'boys dont cry' to you.just to wake you up from dreamland. Things aren't that simple. this isn't disney.

2003-11-17T21:21:00.000+08:00

im so mad at you.you're so selfish! Sometimes i wonder why i'd do anything i could to help you out.
anyway, i spoke to nisa just now, and it made me feeel alot better.hahaha.we both thought of how cool it'd be to have someone always there and ive got nisa, and shes got me.=) And i have shelle too..thanks
i love you guys!
=im walking away, i just hope i dont walk back=
[got this ubberrrr long survey thing from nisa]name = vic
piercings = one on each.i want more but im not allowed to
tattoos = nope.but itd be cool though
height = 167cm
shoe size = 10
hair color = erm, some funny brown but now its copper-streaked
length = erm, at my collar?
siblings = 2 sisters
pets = nopeeee

LAST:
movie you rented = i dont rent movies.
movie you bought = full throttle
song you listened to = boys dont cry
song that was stuck in your head = walk away by corrinne may
thing you've downloaded = boys dont cry
cd you bought = stacie orrico
cd you listened to = some cd that siti burned for me
person you've called = nisa.hahah.we talked loadz.we always do.
person that called you = serene.to cancel our nonexistent bowling trip.
tv show you've watched = some chinese weirdo show
person you were thinking of = sandhya
Do ..
you have a bf or gf = nope.
you have a crush on someone = i do but im about to un-do that crush
you wish you could live somewhere else = yeah..anywhere but here.
you think about suicide = sometimes, but i love myself too much to do that.
you believe in online dating = yes, and it isnt stupid, unlike wht some people think
you want more piercings = my ears..
you want more tattoos = its cool.but no i wouldnt get one
you drink = no..
you do drugs = no
you smoke = dont ever plan on doing that
you like cleaning = its okay..
you like roller coasters = hah.im a scaredy cat..
you write in cursive or print = print.
you carry a donor card = i would if i had one.

For or Against..
teenage smoking = against.
doing drugs = against.
premarital sex =against.
driving drunk = against.
soap operas = against
tv show = for.ahhaah.id die without tv.

the best...
thing in the world = love
thing to collect = photos
colors of all time = pink, purple, white
thing to do on a rainy day = look at the ominous clouds and smile.
feeling in the world = feeling that nothings gonna get you down.

Have you...
ever cried over a guy = yeah.this one guy.he still makes me cry.
ever lied to someone = yeah
ever been in a fist fight =not really.but id love to punch some people.

What...
Perfume do you use = chance by chanel
shoes do you wear = my pink and black nikes.
are you scared of = being unwanted and all alone.and beind misunderstood
Number...
of continents I have lived in? asia.one.
of drugs taken illegally? nope
of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? 3
of people I consider my enemies? erm, one or 2. real snobs.
of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? none.but soon it'd be splashed all over the front pages.
of scars on my body? erm, alot.eczema.
Have you ever...
Fallen for your best friend? no, is bgf counted? i guess it is.so yeah.
Made out with JUST a friend? nope.
Been in love? i thought i was.i dont know anymore.
Cheated on someone? no

Who was the last person...
You touched? erm..i hit my cousin on her arm
You talked to? nisa.i miss her already.
You hugged? grumpy bear.

Have you/are you/do you....
Considered a life of crime? no.
Considered being a hooker? no.
Considered being a pimp? no.
Are you psycho? a lil doofy and a lil bonkers.
Split personalities? erm not really..
Schizophrenic?doubt so
Obsessive compulsive? not really..
Panic? im panicky.
Anxiety? yes.
Depressed? a little.
Obsessed with hate? no.
Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? no.
Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? noo..ouch.

Are you...
Understanding: yeah.i try to be.
Open-minded: yeah.
Interesting: what? it doesnt matter now..but yeah i guess
Hungry: yeah.
Friendly: sometimes too much.it might scare you, but i just wanna be friends.
Childish: half and half.
Healthy:i hope i am.but i like to have gastric.it makes me feel alive.
Difficult: half.
Thirsty: no.
Responsible: if i want to be, i can.
Sad: very. but again, it doesnt matter..
Happy: can i be happy and sad at the same time?
Trusting: too much.sometimes i give my heart away and get it back broken.
Talkative: i never shut up.even during mime.
Lonely: i feel alone now.
Own a webcam? nope.
Current Clothes: my pooh tee and my victoria secrets pj bottoms.
Current Mood: montony
Current Taste: emptiness..
Current Hair: behind my ears.
Current Annoyance: my lonliness..
Current Smell: the scent of montony.
Current thing you ought to be doing: being happy.
Current Book: my momw ont get me a new bk to read.
Current DVD In Player: nothing.
Current Refreshment: nothing.
Current Worry: if i have the strength to walk away like i said i would.
Current Crush: someone who makes me cry and laugh at the same time

On Dating....
Long or short hair? short
Dark or blond hair? dark.blonde would be finee.
Tall or short? tall.gotta be taller than me
Ms. Sensitive or Ms. Funny? half and half.
Good boy or bad boy? half and half.
Dark or light eyes? anything wouldnt matter
Pierced or no? not.
On preferences....
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? hot chocolate
McDonalds or Burger King? burger king!
Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? i dont need perfection.but i need both.
Sweet or sour? sweet.
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? roootbeer.with icecream.
Sappy/action/comedy/horror? romantic comedies
Ocean or Pool? ocean
Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? nacho.
With or without ice-cubes?ice cubes.
Shine or rain? both.
Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring? spring.
Vanilla or Chocolate? vanilla.
Gloves or mittens? mittens.
Eyes open or closed? closed when i kiss. open to see the world.
Fly or breathe under water? fly.
Bunk-bed or waterbed? waterbed..
Chewing gum or hard candy? erm.sweeets r fine..
Motor boat or sailboat? motor.

10 people you want to meet(in random order)
1. my grandma
2. him
3. christina aguilera
4. joe hahn
5. my big sister
6. a record producer
7. heath ledger
8. julia stiles
9.drew barrymore
10. justin timberlake

9 things you wear everyday
1. undies
2. earrings.
3. my watch
4. my smile
5. clothesss
6. shoes.
7. hair
8.i dont know
9. i dont knowww

8 of your favorite foods
1.naan
2. bread
3. fried rice
4. chocolate
5. stuffed chicken
6. icecream
7. potato
8. fried chicken

7 of your closest friends (at random)
1. nisa
2. shelle
3. kev
4. sandhya
5. dawn
6. alex
7. katie

6 of your favorite shows
1. brothers garcia
2. thats so raven
3. mtv made
4. as told by ginger
5. rocket power
6. charmed

5 things in your room
1. my bed
2. all my stuffed toys
3. my radio
4. alll my clothesss
5. my memories.

4 things you ate today
1. potato with pork
2. choc almond cookie
3. love letters
4. watermelon

3 things you could not live without
1. my family, friends
2. music
3. shopping.

2 books you recently read
1.the secret dreamworld of a shoppaholic
2. the shoppaholic abroad

1 thing you said today
1. im giving up on him.

2003-11-17T14:16:00.000+08:00

You sit there on the couch
Sipping your scotch and ice
You turn the TV on
And tune me out again

So what would you say to me
If you could talk to me
You could ask anything
I wouldn't lie
But you're okay with this
Damaging awkwardness
So i'll just play it safe
And keep it inside
Boys don't cry

I used to hold your hand
So tight there was no question
But now even when you're near
I've never felt so alone

If you just stand beside me
I'll keep you in my life
Tell me how much you love me
And i'll be just fine
Don't be afraid of me

dear boy,
READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS! i dont wanna text you anymore and i dont wanna call you anymore.why cant u text me and why cant you call me. WHY MUST IT BE ME FIRST. i dont want to be first anymore. read this read this read this!
you know know how i try so hard to be nonchalent when you dont call and you dont text. you dont know how hard i conceal how happy i am when im talking to you. And you'll never know, because i'll never tell you, because you will never ask.

2003-11-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out rubber
The bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy,flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is
I'm the only one ____

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps
They're loaded with vim and vigor
They love to leap in your laps
They're jumpy, bumpy,clumpy, thumpy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is
I'm the only one ____

Tiggers are cuddly fellows
Tiggers are awfully sweet
Everyone else is jealous
That's why I repeat
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy,flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun ____

But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is
I'm the only one
IIIIIII'mmmmmm the only one!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr ! ! ! !

2003-11-15T09:04:00.000+08:00

hahaha.i'm totally having fun listening to stacy's mom.its hella funny.anyway, whooo.the weeks is over, so the next few weeks, i'll hope it goes nice and sllllooowwww...then the vacay's wont end so fast! i went to Orchard yesterday at night and the lights were beautiful.like, it was soo disney.i felt like a little girl again.it's so weird how when im younger i didn't like the lights much and couldn't understand why in the world my mom made me go and see them all the time and yet, this time, im the one wanting to see them. i've already asked him to go see them with me.hahaha.it'd be like disney.only better, coz it's real life, and HAPPENING TO ME.*wheeee*
my lil sis is at camp now and im all alonnneee...i miss her. No one to wake me up early in the morning and bugging me with Bubbles and Slumbers. and also one more thing, SHE TOOK THE HANDPHONEEE... which i didn't really care for until like 4 days ago! so anyway, yeaa.funfunfun.not.
i am just so dammit lazy to go for tuition on monday.

2003-11-11T19:12:00.000+08:00

i feel like crying.
i mean THINK about it.why does everytime i want something so bad, it goes soo wrong. i know i know i asked for it.but hell, i asked for alot of things and i dont get them. and now i dont even know what i want.im shunning and yet im needing.im trying to run away and i thought i told myself it felt right.then now, it feels strange.am i so pathetically bizarre? i dont need perfection.i need affection. argh.hell, this can't be the way i planned for things to be.
i spoke to him today.i KNOW i should feel happy.i know i should feel like a load lifted off my shoulders.but i dont. maybe i expected too much.maybe i expected something i'll never get.maybe im just on the wrong side of the road completely. maybe i was wrong right from the start.
maybe.
i just wish he could read my mind for once, and answer all my questions.

2003-11-10T12:31:00.000+08:00

hi.
do you see me
do you know who i am
because all of a sudden
i feel invisible.

hi.
how are you today
would you like to be friends?
because all of a sudden
i am alone

hi.
what's your name
is your life the way you planned it?
because all of a sudden
i am empty

hi.
do you dream?
Are the tears you cry worth it?
because all of a sudden
i am searching for an answer i cannot find

hi.
im victoria
and the tears i cry are endless
because all of a sudden
i think i am in love.

dear boy,
i just wanna talk to you.sometimes i feel like im the last person you want to talk to because everytime im around, theres always something else you'd rather do. so now, where are you when i need you? i miss you so damn much. and why are you se far from me when we're both looking at the same side of the moon?

2003-11-09T17:52:00.000+08:00

today was a horrid day.
i went for lunch at my grandp's place and my dad was searing at the phone all day long coz he couldnt get it to work and he just got the Nokia 6600 and he was grumbling and all.then later we were eating and he said sth abt people being too sensitive and im like people have to be sensitive else we'd all end up being 'thickskinned' and he started being a cow and was like saying that he wasnt gonna be nice and that i was talkin crap and it was bullshit and all tt and i got so pissed, tears started rolling out of my eyes and i just got up, took my bag and went off.my grandpa's house was on some crappy hill adn it was all winding and everything and i was at thomson and i had NO idea where the fuck i was at.so i called nisa and started crying my eyes out while walkin abt people were starin at me and i just walked and walked and the sun was scorching. and i just walked.til i reached some bishan place and i just decided to get on a bus and i ended up at junction 8 after one stop and i got off and then i took a bus home.i swear if u saw me on the streets i looked like i just broke up with my boyfriend.hahaah.which, ironically, isnt the case.IF you know what im trying to say.argh.so im not talkin to him because im sooo mad at him and i dont like him very much now due to several reasons... so yeah.
i think i walked really far.

2003-11-08T20:17:00.000+08:00

dont go.
dont leave me here wondering
of something that could have been

dont leave
you cant walk out without closing the door
the door you opened when you entered my life

dont hide
dont keep the truth from me
when all lies do is torment me

dont lie
because each time you do
a little more of me dies along with you

2003-11-08T09:09:00.000+08:00

*baby walk away, you're worth more than he can realize.you've been waiting for his love for so many yrs but u may not live to see that day.baby walk away.you're not meant to be treated this way*
okay.i cant explain how im feeling now.because if i say im happy, im not.if i say im carefree, im not.if i say im sad, im not. i KNOW i should be letting go and just find something else to do, but this time, its different.ive never felt pretty much this way.i mean, usually i just get up and go and not bother.which others might perceive as somewhat mean and unfeeling.but now, im FEELING.and i dont like this feeling of FEELING because its leaving me in tears and leaving me upset.and leaving me with nothing but doubts and a chockful of questions swirling around in my already confused mind.so yeah.
it seems so easy o0n the surface, people can tell me.its an easy question with an easy answer.but it isnt. it isnt definite and i dont want to get hurt.
oh wait, i think i just did.
-sign my gb!-

2003-11-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Yawn
by Megan H.

3 'o'clock
Why can't I sleep?
I toss and turn, I sing I read
Why can't I stop worrying?
Those sheep don't work
And the house to quiet
I light my candles and silently sit.
My feet are frozen
My lips are dry
I think of you
And tears fall from my eyes
The dark room holds my fears
Like a mother holds her child
I crawl back in bed
And curl up in a ball
I am exhausted
But for some reason
I can not sleep at ALL!

Me, Not Her
by Jennifer Souza

I'm not sure if you know or not
But I really do love you a lot.
You still hold a special place in my heart
And you did, right from the start.

But when she came along and took your breath away,
I was devastated and didn't know what to say.
I spend my nights crying, time after time,
I spent my days lying, saying I was fine.

Little did you know, my heart was crushed inside,
And on that day, a little of me died.
But with her, you look so in love
'Cause you are an angel from above.

I now have to teach my heart to move on,
For, you are now forever gone.
But about one thing I am unsure:
Why it can't be me, and not her.

Blame It On Your Confusion
by Lilttle Ber

Confusion,
The state of mind I'm often in.
In and out of it so sudden.
Confused by the things I thought I knew.
Confused because I'm in love with you.
I don't know how I got here,
I don't know how long I'll stay.
But soon enough I'll be on my way.
In love with a player.
In love with the game.
In love, your so charming.
In love and to blame.
Confused why I let my self.
Confused this can't be me.
Confused by the fact that I'm in love with someone who will never love me.

Confused with the tears.
I never let fall.
Confused because I gave you them all.
I never thought I'd be here.
I can't wait to leave.
I'm in love and hurting and you don't see.
Love is a confusion its a game.
When you get here there's nobody to blame.
Except your confusion!

I Know I Can't Have You
by Princess

Everything was simple
Everything was fine
I knew I couldn't have you
And I knew why

I tried to move on
I dated other guys
But then we'd hang out
And I knew, to myself I lied.

You noticed me drifting
You said "please explain"
But, I didn't want to loose you
So, I tried to deal with the pain.

It's hard to be with you
It gets harder each day
When I look in your eyes
I feel my body floating away

I miss the way it used to be
You don't feel the change
You don't know I really love you
I'm sure to you, it's just a game

As I close my eyes tonight
I'll pray as I was taught to do
I'll pray that you realize that
I love you, but I can't have you

Don't Leave Now
by Phoebe Dukes

don't leave me now
don't let me go
I'm in love with you
and you don't even know

I miss you already
I cant stand this pain
don't leave me drenched
in this pouring rain

don't turn around
or forget I'm here
don't leave me empty
in cold and fear

I miss you already
I can't breath without you
please, don't leave me now
I'm in love with you

Feelings
by Austine'a Burrell

The feelings I feel inside
I can't explain
It's like I still love you
but it don't feel the same.

The memories we had
stays on my mind
How can I forget
I think about them all the time.

I wish we could go back
to how we was before
But it feels like the love we had before
just isn't there anymore.

So many thoughts run through my head
like what kind of future we have ahead
I hope all our problems go away
so we can live happier together forever, everyday

And if by chance our love do end
I hope to God that we can still be friends.

2003-11-06T21:23:00.000+08:00

dear boy,
why do you choose to do this to me?

=What Do They Know
by Tima Chavis

I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside.
They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.
When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.
The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.
Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?
In the end I gave him up, but inside still sing his song.
I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.
If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.
They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.
But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?
I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back.
Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.
I saw him just today and his smile is still the same.
He looked at me so sweetly, but never spoke my name.
I wonder if he remembers me, It hasn't been that long.
He may have forgotten me, but I still sing his song.=

2003-11-05T20:40:00.000+08:00

argh.2.5 km.ran.veryyyy tired.was angry.ran faster.stupid cows came into the gym.bugged me.ran faster.they left.slowed down.got mad again.ran faster.

2003-11-02T18:59:00.000+08:00

ah.i just read all-american girl.while at the same time, blowing my nose approximately everytime 2 minutes and feeling incredibly chilly because of the aircon,anyway.the one thing it was about was love. oh and individuality.but see, the love bit got me.i really dont need anymore love stories making me feel all 'sighh...' about life right now. okay.here goes:sighhh...
i cant help it.i guess little things like that get to me. then again...lets just not talk about it.i'll end up feeling worse. its not like he knows.
well, on the brighter side of things, i have a-maths lessons tomorrow.now THATS something i oughta look forward to aint it? not.
away from sarcasm, i just got new corduroy hipsters which in my opinion, make me look woohoo-sorta fab.hahahaah. and also a floaty skirt.all black.very dinner-ish.
imma go now.headache.

2003-10-31T17:27:00.000+08:00

last day of sec 3.i think i chould be happy.but i'm not.went photo crazy.over 80 photos!.nisa came.had TONS of fun.hahaha.she's a nutcase.hahaahah.=Pp.took loadza funny pics.did maths.casted spells.loveee ya nisa.loveee ya shelle.loveee ya dawn.

2003-10-30T14:55:00.000+08:00

hey.im stuck onto writing like that.totally not good.anyway.im baking this lemon tart for dawn.tres difficulte.i gonna fail miserably.nvm.dawn loves ta eat.hahahaha.anyway.i hope she likes it.oh well.imma go on a photo taking spree.yeah.=).GUESS WHO'S GOT HER MAJOR FASHION STATEMENT.vicvicvicvicvicvic.yeah.hahaahha.she's on the crescent newsletter for her majorrrr fashion statement.duh.shes a trendsetter.and theres NO stopping her.

My life is rated PG.
What is your life rated?

2003-10-30T10:00:00.000+08:00

ahhhh.very tired. had a spooky dream just now.very scary.ghostly.dreamt abt 7th month.with shelle and kev.dont knowwhy kev's innit. was spooooky.woke up.couldnt sleep.damn.

2003-10-29T10:46:00.000+08:00

motivation.
find it.
keep it.
use it.

2003-10-28T12:42:00.000+08:00

[isnt the best part of breaking up, finding someone else u cant get enough of']
i miss dawn now.i realize tt she mightnt be in the same class as me next yr and i'll cry. i promise i will.i'll just cry and cry and wont know when to stop.i cant explain it but she means alot. we arent best friends but theres this certain emptiness that the class will have if shes not there...=(
i wanna cry now.i dont like this feeling of uncertainty creeping through me.
it isnt fair.

2003-10-27T10:51:00.000+08:00

ahhhh.I AM A TOTALY REDHEAD NOW.hahaha.okay.maybe maroonish purplish reddish brownish kinda redhead.lol.hair dying gone wrong.i thought it wouldnt turn red coz like, none of the dying before has turned the actual color it was suppose to.but then this time, IT DID! ahhhh..NOT GOOD.anyway, i realized is coz my hair had turned this brownish streaky thing so the red dye could easily go on.hah.how fun.SCEWED UP SORTA FUN.
ahhh..
anyway, i reckon i like guys with cute smile.like really boyish smiles.like HEATH LEDGER in 10 things i hate abt you.wheee.and MICHAEL VARTAN..ahhh..to die for.lol.anyway, ciaozy

2003-10-25T13:18:00.000+08:00

its sooo dammit unfair! HILARY DUFF IS A STUPID MORON who cant sing and cant act and wears clothes too tight and SHE GOT NO. 1 ON THE BILLBOARD? damnnn..what is the world coming to. me and nise could win her anytime! like HELLO? its so unfair tt just coz shes BLONDE and in AMERICA that she succeeds when we're over here with more talent oooozing out and WE CANT DAMMIT DO A THING ABT IT coz we're ASIAN and FUCKING STUCK HERE!
fuckfuckfuck.

2003-10-24T14:33:00.000+08:00

ahhh...sandhya: i think ive unscrewed the world.lol.im not feeling REALLY better but im better.my daddy's home and he got me a book.good books help to pass the time faster...then i wont feel so screwed up.
anyway, yesterday was great again, school's been pretty fun actually.sometimes, even more fun than the weekend.oh well, interesting isnt it?
my back aches and my brains a mess but ive got my ribbon twirler and my cds..i hope i'll be okay.
the secret dreamworld of a shopaholic
lies in the palms of my credit card.
or...my mom's credit card.
lol.