Friday, April 30, 2004

wheeee...
the chinese mid years are over.yea baby! allrighty..ive just got my other subjects to get through.so totally NOT PLEASANT! anyway..i just realized something. I HAVE TO APPLY FOR COLLEGE SOON.hahahaha.oh lordy.i am getting like so old.=)..which is good and when im 25, i dont wanna grow old anymore. so totally not possible. anyway, whatever..long way
oh well, im happy today coz im gonna study (yes i know. weird!!) and im gonna BAKE oh yeaa..YAYAYAYYY!! sorry im hyper today. lol. anyway. dont hate me coz im beautiful. lovelove.

had a candy cane at 4:17 PM

Saturday, April 24, 2004

hahaah.guess what...i just made a complete booboo of myself.hahaha coz like i thought the mid years were actually next week and lol, theyre actually the week after.lordy.
anyway, thats a relief coz i reaaaalllyyy cannot bear to study much. its pretty painful. anyway, im outie...tv calls!

had a candy cane at 3:23 PM

Sunday, April 11, 2004

'you know that im only one call away'...
sigh, i kinda hate life now. i mean, yes i get stuff i want and yes im not unfortunately big or not entirely ugly but im just getting a little tired. a little worn out. im tired of thinking of homework or thinking of whether or not im studying hard enough. what if im totally NOT studying hard. and gawd, everythings so much more complicated
you know how when you're yonger theres less bitching around and less politics? you were friends for simple reasons and you were true friends. not like now when youre just worrying you've gonna stab you next. it was just barbies and lego. simple.
and then now, i think my younger sister hates me..or at least she hates it when i show that im growing up...like when i dress up, or shop endlessly or just go a little ditzy and then she throws me looks like 'i cant stand you' sometimes i cant stand her too but i dont throw looks. WHY DOES GROWING UP HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS.. when you feel no one around you supports you growing up. you think its easy? we dont exactly have a manual on how to make every goddamn person around happy you know? and what, im like just suppose to be this girl you WANT me to?
lifes a bitch. right back atcha.

had a candy cane at 6:43 PM

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

i feel horrible now. i havent been updating all that much and i actually, havent been online all that much. homework..schoolwork..studying.yeap you basically get the picture. anyway, heres my story. i got an improvement award at school two days back and now, i feel even worse. i wish i had never gotten it. it's now so now people have told me theyre proud of me and all and okay, that part rocks, i hardly have people come and tell me theyre proud of my ACADEMIC SCORES. so yeah, but then i get so stressed out because i feel as if i have to keep it up and IMPROVE. and i never knew it'd be this difficult. i mean, what if i NEVER do well enough or i dont study hard enough then what? everyone's gonna be sdisappointed? upset? and i'll be unhappy? stressed out?
and my headaches are beginning to get the better of me, i mean i go to school study and this freaking headache just attacks? and it cant be blmaed on my diet anymore because im avoiding cheese and ANY dairy products so yeah. and i reaaaallllyyy HATE my migraine. why me? i have eczema and migraine and i cant eat wheat, sugar, dairy stuff. i might as well just be crowned sick loser of the year. it's REALLLLY Bugging me. oh yes, you can tell me be strong, theyre other people who have it worse well, WHAT ABOUT THOSE YOU HAVE IT BETTER? argh. i mean dumb blondes who cannot sing get recording deals when all they're really paid for is to show their made-up face on the damn tv and smile. HELLO? i can so do that. oh wait, im not slim, leggy, blonde or beautiful. thanks for the trip back to reality.
argh. whatever.

had a candy cane at 10:13 PM