Kiss the Rain
last day of sec 3.i think i chould be happy.but i'm not.went photo crazy.over 80 photos!.nisa came.had TONS of fun.hahaha.she's a nutcase.hahaahah.=Pp.took loadza funny pics.did maths.casted spells.loveee ya nisa.loveee ya shelle.loveee ya dawn.
had a candy cane at 5:27 PM
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hey.im stuck onto writing like that.totally not good.anyway.im baking this lemon tart for dawn.tres difficulte.i gonna fail miserably.nvm.dawn loves ta eat.hahahaha.anyway.i hope she likes it.oh well.imma go on a photo taking spree.yeah.=).GUESS WHO'S GOT HER MAJOR FASHION STATEMENT.vicvicvicvicvicvic.yeah.hahaahha.she's on the crescent newsletter for her majorrrr fashion statement.duh.shes a trendsetter.and theres NO stopping her.
My life is rated PG.
What is your life rated?
had a candy cane at 2:55 PM
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motivation.
find it.
keep it.
use it.
had a candy cane at 10:46 AM
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[isnt the best part of breaking up, finding someone else u cant get enough of']
i miss dawn now.i realize tt she mightnt be in the same class as me next yr and i'll cry. i promise i will.i'll just cry and cry and wont know when to stop.i cant explain it but she means alot. we arent best friends but theres this certain emptiness that the class will have if shes not there...=(
i wanna cry now.i dont like this feeling of uncertainty creeping through me.
it isnt fair.
had a candy cane at 12:42 PM
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ahhhh.I AM A TOTALY REDHEAD NOW.hahaha.okay.maybe maroonish purplish reddish brownish kinda redhead.lol.hair dying gone wrong.i thought it wouldnt turn red coz like, none of the dying before has turned the actual color it was suppose to.but then this time, IT DID! ahhhh..NOT GOOD.anyway, i realized is coz my hair had turned this brownish streaky thing so the red dye could easily go on.hah.how fun.SCEWED UP SORTA FUN.
ahhh..
anyway, i reckon i like guys with cute smile.like really boyish smiles.like HEATH LEDGER in 10 things i hate abt you.wheee.and MICHAEL VARTAN..ahhh..to die for.lol.anyway, ciaozy
had a candy cane at 10:51 AM
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its sooo dammit unfair! HILARY DUFF IS A STUPID MORON who cant sing and cant act and wears clothes too tight and SHE GOT NO. 1 ON THE BILLBOARD? damnnn..what is the world coming to. me and nise could win her anytime! like HELLO? its so unfair tt just coz shes BLONDE and in AMERICA that she succeeds when we're over here with more talent oooozing out and WE CANT DAMMIT DO A THING ABT IT coz we're ASIAN and FUCKING STUCK HERE!
fuckfuckfuck.
had a candy cane at 1:18 PM
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ahhh...sandhya: i think ive unscrewed the world.lol.im not feeling REALLY better but im better.my daddy's home and he got me a book.good books help to pass the time faster...then i wont feel so screwed up.
anyway, yesterday was great again, school's been pretty fun actually.sometimes, even more fun than the weekend.oh well, interesting isnt it?
my back aches and my brains a mess but ive got my ribbon twirler and my cds..i hope i'll be okay.
the secret dreamworld of a shopaholic
lies in the palms of my credit card.
or...my mom's credit card.
lol.
had a candy cane at 2:33 PM
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this is SOOO SCREWED.bleagh..i'll pretend.just pretend.always pretend.
WHY DO I FUCKING KEEP PRETENDING!?
does anyone even fucking see through it.
screw this whole dammit world.
screw you.
had a candy cane at 9:33 PM
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heyy..i am officially toast.
dont ask why.im soooo dumb its unbelieveable.
*closes eyes* i wont cry anymore.ive cried enough.
right now, im thinkin abt how lost i am.im tired and worn out.and im hurt.i dont know what he wants from me.whgat he expects or what he thinks anymore. i dont evenm feel i know him like i thought i did. this confusion is mind boggling and i really wanna just ask him right out 'what do you want from all this?' but i know i wont. coz im never brave enough. but why?! it hurts my soul, i hate to say we cant go on this way.im like living in a mess and a frozen state where nothing's happening and nth seems to be going to happen and its so irritating because i feel so unsure and underappreciated. maybe im just adding confusion.but im SO DAMMIT CONFUSED.and my results? they just say one thing :the award for miss dumb of the century goes to..."
yeah.pretty much sums it all up.
i fucking hate this bullshit.
had a candy cane at 6:40 PM
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hairhairhair.sometimes i feel so superficial.and sometimes i wonder if people only think i care abt how i look. problem is, i do care alot, because i take pride in it, alot. maybe its coz im so worried abt every single detail of me that i get upset sometimes because, i find all these imperfections.but really, no one really sees them. because i guess no one is really flawless.but there are people who use certain methods to hide their imperfections. mine is well, smiling. lol.sometimes when i smile, i feel like people dont look at my body or clothes anymore. they look at my face. =)
i guess fashion plays a huge role in my life because i dont just buy clothes i see in teen people, or dolly or bliss. i find something and make it my own style.something that screams 'only vic could pass it off' and then people will know that im no copycat.and that im not loser.and that im no poseur. coz im the girl people wanna copy and thats pretty cool.
but, i guess i hate it. im not being egoistical.im being logical. but i shldnt really hate it when people copy me and all that its kinda like some sorta hidden compliment. now everyone has bangs and long hair.but i dont.i snipped my hair short into this layered bob thing.and its pretty good. im getting used to it. could work for me. i dont wanna be the same as too many people.
oh wait, i forgot. im unique already.
had a candy cane at 9:24 AM
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i hate my hair!!!!
had a candy cane at 4:38 PM
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oooohlALA.i did something very brave today.in my eyes, it IS definitely brave.
i cut my hair-SHORT.i swear.its short.i mean like, its been ever soo long since its been short. now its past my shoulders and its pretty cool i must say. i guess its kinda like a whole new look thing.anyway, its pretty funky in a twisted and cool sorta way.hahaah.so yeahhh.=)
sooo.today we went to little india.i loooveee that place.its like wow.so many cool indie stuff tt u just wanna buy.lol. i got these gorgeous bangles that are orange and pink.i bought a pink pack and an orange pack then me and shelle split it up equally then we alternated the colors.so its reaalllly funky now.and everyone totally loved it.lol.talk abt friendship bangles.lol. i loovveee ya shelle!=)
so anyway, back in school i was totally tryin to convincve myself to cut my damn hair.and everyone was kinda skeptical abt it but they said i shld try it.so i did i guess.but i needa this photo of the hairstyle and mariem forgot to bring it coz i asked her to help me print it.so me and shelle scurried off to the computer lab to find the pic.and we took like 1/2 an hr to find it.both of us nearly died.i was sooo frustrated.lol.but we found it!!!*whOohOOo*
yeah.and after school we went off to cut my hair.its kinda like this choppy layered hairstyle.but not layered enough in my opinion.*sigh* but yeah..alls good.
im starting anew with my hair.lol
had a candy cane at 8:49 PM
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[bits of cookies]
1)The harder your life is, the stronger God must think you are.
2)As long as I have one ass instead of two, I'll wear what I like
3)Your clothes never wear as well the next day! And your hair never falls in quite the same way! But you never seem to run out of things to say
okay, my take on the 3rd quote is that no matter how you become on the outside, you can still be the same person on the inside and like, superficial things like clothes and hair doesnt matter as much as a person's inner self.
had a candy cane at 4:05 PM
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holy balony.
ii just felt like saying this, i think christina aguilera is a very very brilliant person. i mean, think about it, who would've thought of that genie in a bottle bopper to come such a long way? i really admire her somehow.
shes like, so brave i mean, LOOK AT THE GIRLS WARDROBE MAN! okay.it might come across as slutty but she looks good so its okay.slutty would be a word to describe jordan.now THAT slutty.i mean the girl doesnt care if half the oversized boobs are falling out.
and christina's voice is amazing.shes got such power and strength and sometimes, you really feel like shes singing to you. and the lyrics (well, most) are usually inspiring somehow or rather and its good coz you can totally relate to her.and she does not have cheesy lyrics like 'touch my bum, this is life' like, GET REAL.so yeah.theres my two cents worth.=)
had a candy cane at 9:57 AM
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i went to the library today.somehow it seemed peaceful to be alone.dont have to be happy if im not or talk when im not in the mood.but tell me, will i find peace like this all the time?
[I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way]
had a candy cane at 9:35 PM
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Warning
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
had a candy cane at 8:49 PM
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i have mellowed down.
had a candy cane at 3:25 PM
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JUST GO AWAY. I LOVEEEEE BEING BAILED ON.GO AWAY.GET OUTTA MY FACE.
had a candy cane at 10:19 PM
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i am the girl who:
loves eating sweets
finds it annoying when you talk
loves attention
loves it when i hear you call my name
finds herself fat all the time
smiles when rainy days are here
bumps into things so often
talks to herself when shes alone
sings in the street
makes people smile
dreams big
places her hopes high and sometimes, gets crushed
always wants the things she cannot have
wishes she were someone else sometimes
complains about how she looks
blushes when you say im pretty
twists her hair around her finger
loves clothes*ALOT*
finds her feet too big
smiles in the mirror
looks at you and smiles
tells you everything's gonna be fine
tells you to go for it
thinks her voice sounds great
feels unwanted when no one's around
finds herself wanting company when shes crying
eats and then feels so guilty
thinks she's demented
finds the people who bitch, bitches
loves to cook but is scared of the oven
shouts and cheers when shes happy
not afraid to show others how she feels
loves talking
wants to be a star
thinks skirts make her look dumb
think boys should speak up
lies around thinkina bout being famous
wants to be wanted
is gonna be big.
had a candy cane at 7:13 PM
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ooooh..bad day's gone.better day's here.
i went out for like an hour plus to get some study books anmd have lunch.and guess what vic gotttt!!
vic got DKNY SHOES...oh yeaa.who's the girl!!?!=)
lol.theyre tresss chic and totallly funky, you shld sue.hahaha.
its like, red, blue, and like theres this real funky leather bit.and its soo awesome.i cant describe it.
bite me.
had a candy cane at 5:02 PM
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someone shld so diagnose me with an eating disorder already.but the problem is, even tho i know how bad it is, how you can be all sunken and low, i like the feeling of the gastric juices inside me. i dont know.maybe im AM sick.but i really dont need anyone scolding me or telling me things i already know.
whats a girl to do.
whats a fat girl to do?
had a candy cane at 10:21 PM
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i had the most AWFUL dream last night.
i dont think i'll ever become like what my dream said id be.i dont think it'll come true.
vic is just fretting.worrying too much.
omg!
now i feel totally weird.its so bizarre.WHY!
omgg.
this isnt good.
only vic gets it.
had a candy cane at 11:04 AM
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je suis à l'école maintenant et la vie m'est vraiment moyenne.
obtenez-le?
*screams a silent scream in her deranged mind*
i cant keep having 'conversation's with the air all the time, it just wont cut it as NORMAL and as WORKING for me. i really am getting tres fatigué about all this. what happened to-i am okay with or without you-
i guess i am.i know i am, because im beginning to let go.so yeah. cheers to me=)
*scoReeee!*
*-mis vos mains dans le ciel, vague autour comme vous juste ne s'inquiètent pas-*
had a candy cane at 10:18 AM
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*and long ago i lost my soul to some forgotten dream and how was i suppose to know it wasnt what it seemed and even tho the last to low, has left me on the floor, i dont believe in romeos and heroes anymore*
i talked to him yesterday.though it wasnt really him because i just said everything abt how i felt but it was just to the air around me. but i felt better because ive said everything.
i just wish he was there yet, i wouldnt know.that kinda thing.
only vic gets it.
i loved.
*Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
*Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.
had a candy cane at 12:54 PM
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