Kiss the Rain
whoah today was fun. i mean, i guess i was kinda upset and on the brink of tears when the singing went soo badly.maybe coz it was badly planned.i mean busking is about singing like a corner with people surrounding you and not on stage with a buncha mics.thats what i thought it would be but turned out wrong.all wrong.but it was fun i guess, i didnt mind it much.i loveeeee shelle! hahaha./shes like the bestest best friend=).we went around the whole school playing and laughing and making so much noice and she was all responsible abt the box and stuff.and we both had such painful feet we nearly died.hahaha. poor us.
anyway, i brought my huggeeee yellow cowboy hat thingy.its made of styrofoam and its HUGe like HUGE.i swear.everyone was soo staring at me.hahaha.me and michelle were getting a kick out of people going'hey!funky hat!' or 'you look so funky!' hahaha.its like i just decided, why should i worry abt what other people say abt me! so i went and had sooo much fun.=)and i wore my halloween floaty skirt that i designed myself and everyone totally loved it! they even asked me where i got it.hMm..this fashion business is doing well for me.=)
i ran around so much, i hink i wouldve lost weight if i didnt keep eating those yummy prima deli chicken pies.tres yum=)...i recommend PRIMA DELI CHICKEN PIES!whaha.theyre my all time fave!=)
loveeeeee ya michelle!=)
nisa:today was fun so dont worry too much and the singing wasnt that bad, it was just for fun-nothing serious.love ya girl!=)
had a candy cane at 6:28 PM
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feeling irritated and annoyed.its not anyones fault.its my own fault.
dont have a good feeling about tmr
ive had too many disappointments after having such high hopes.
shall not bother anymore now
had a candy cane at 8:53 PM
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got up today feeling great-it was raining!=)
anyway, at school, im beginning to feel distant from dawn.its like i can hardly talk to her because shes always occupied with something else. and when i try to, shes hardly listening.
oh well, onto the more fun part of the day. i got to skip class at 10-1.30.hahaha.coz i had rehearsals for arts awareness week and its so fun.i just basically sat there and watched people perform while my friends were slogging away during physics muahaha.evil feels good
oh well, i went out with michelle today.it was kinda sad at first coz we were both irritated by our class and all the bullshit. i mean, the class could at least be nicer and all. anyway, i dont really like my class.i dont really like school.i just live everyday like one step closer to me leaving all this disharmony and crap behind and onto a new life.=).but with shelle around, its great.=)
oh well, i got loadza stuff today.
1)a funky flower hair elastic.its those with the faux flower on it.
2) my own PINK faux flower to make this hair elastic i saw in a book.i think my faux flower is real nice.not like cheap looking or anything.its soo beachy-fied. totally awesome.=) cant wait til its all done!
3)butterfly hair crocodile-teethed clips.hahah.glittery and VERY girly but nice all the same.
4) keychain thats really glittery.hahaha.it says 'oh im sorry, did i look interested?' gawd.that cracks me up so much.
anyway, im sooo tired coz we walked all the way from one end of orchard to the other end. after a whole day of drama-not very good.but it was funny.hahaha.me and shelle had loadza fun.and like, i SAVED HER LIFE! hahahaha.she was crossing the road and this van came charging and i pulled her back.i was so shocked. i thought like whoah.=)im her saviour! muahahah.=)
oh well, shoopercise is what i call it-all that walking from shopping.
yeap.
shoppercise.=)
had a candy cane at 6:27 PM
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idols are for people who can't live up to thier own dreams so they have to chase after someone else's
had a candy cane at 9:59 PM
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CANTWAIT...cant wait..oh boy oh boy oh boyyyyy.=)
had a candy cane at 8:47 PM
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ahhh.im so tired of seeing my darned textbooks.i think i might commit suicide by the time i have my olevels.im serious.i cant even understand BASIC chem.where am i gonna go now?
somebody shoot me.
ive got so many problems now..i havent the time to write them out.i just wish sometimes i could be calm and handle things.but i cant.
somebody shoot me.
had a candy cane at 4:57 PM
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say ohh lala.
anyway, tomo0rrow is the beginning of the common tests.ive got sooooo many things i have to study.-scaRy-.
oh well, ive got sooo many ideas for clothes i wanna make...cOolie.
had a candy cane at 9:20 PM
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sigh..
feeling alone right now, with no one to talk to..and no one to call and ask 'hey vic, wassup?' people only call to ask me for homework or if i have something in particular they want. pretty much useless arent i.
sometimes i dont even think people know i even exist.
had a candy cane at 8:54 PM
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Won't someone tell me what is happenin' to me
Why am I so missunderstood
Why can't they see
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel
That I used to be
They say I'll understand it all in good time
But age ain't nothin' but a number in my mind
Goin' crazy with this push me pull me
Caught between wrong and right
I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase the boys
I started writing down my deepest secrets
Seven days a week of truth and fantasy
Got the feelin' that the way my life is
Got to be prepared for changes
Won't someone tell me what is happenin' to me
Why am I so missunderstood
Why can't they see?
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel
That I used to be
I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase the boys
I wanna go left but they tell me go right
Don't wanna be the little girl they kissin' goodnight
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase the boys
They can try to make me write a thousand lies
But that won't ever change the way I feel inside
They've got their opinions but I just don't care
Cause that's not what I wanna hear
I, I must, I must not chase the boys
I, I must, I must not chase the boys
I must, I must, I must not.. .chase.. the boys
I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase the boys
I wanna go left but they tell me go right
don't wanna be the little girl they kissin' goodnight
the moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase... the boys
cant hold us down
So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled
When a female fires back
Suddenly the target don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do
Making up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will
So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended by the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing
If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why it's okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
What do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
[Lil' Kim:]
Check it - Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can either give us some head, sex her off
If the girl do the same, then she's a whore
But the table's about to turn
I'll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It's aiight though, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on movin'
To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got your back
But you're just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil' things
So you're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil' things
This is for my girls...
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Spread the word, can't hold us down
had a candy cane at 6:12 PM
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okay, so im not the most patriotic person on earth but, this years national parade was kinda like an improvement from all the other years. i mean, the indian dances were tres cool! i was like 'whee! indian dances!'.hahaha.i know i know.insane isnt it? anyway, fireworks no longer fascinate me but an NDP without fireworks just doesnt cut it.hahaha.my mom was all like 'ooh! fireworks!' and me and my li sis just passed the 'we really dont care mom' look.lol.tres drole.
so yeah, went out with my mom and got myself this awesome funky top.haha.it says 'dont trust me..' lol.*screams!* i love it!! and it was the last piece. see what i mean when i say I AM SO FATED WITHE LAST PIECES? ahhh. my nike's beautys were the last pair and my mambo 3/4's was the last pair too and now this awesome top is the last one.lol. i might actually get stuck with the last nicest guy on earth. heh.=)
i am so excited.got a perfect prezzie for shelle.
whOohoO.
had a candy cane at 10:16 PM
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Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry
[sometimes i look around the room for someone there to tell me its okay but in a room full of people, its empty and bare.and these no one there.im all alone.still alone. am alone. but do you even care?]
had a candy cane at 9:58 PM
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ahhh.i dont even wanna talk about what eud's words have cost me and shelle.
anyway, i had fun with shelle today.lol.we were playing with water and splashing around and stuff and like joelle was really funny. he was like 'your hair is different'.haha buit i was hyperventilating so much that i couldnt anmswer coz it was so funny. anyway, hes really nice.=).
oh well, drama was cool today. i played this psyco cook whos obsessed and starts cooking the heart meant for bio disection during lab class.hahaha.aint tt quirky? iknow.totally.
so yeah.todays not so bad. i told everything that happened to my mom and shes cool about it and i started crying in the car coz i was so angry and upset. but i feel relieved that my mom knows abt it--meaning the problem tt eud has caused me and shelle. i cried during bio lab lesson today and in class. i really dont know how im gonna deal.
had a candy cane at 8:55 PM
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[ive been backstabbed]
god. is my life even going to make sense now that everythings ruined? I CANT EVEN HAVE A NORMAL FRIENDSHIP WITH SHELLE! its like so her mom went to school yest to check on her and to ask why her grades were slippin.-totally understandable. but she called me to tell me not to talk to her so much and to not talk to her during class and all- im trying to be resonable here. and then she calls eudora and eud spills all these lies abt me and NOW IM THE BAD INFLUENCE? hello eudora? ever occured to you that maybe backstabbin isnt the 'in' thing right now? huh? gawd. you're such a creep and i thought u were actualy nice. people hate you and canht stand you even being around and i really tried to be nice you know and you turn arnd calling me pretentious and now A BAD INFLUENCE? what is wrong with you. ive never EVER scolded someone openly on my blog but i guess theres always a first huh. if you've lost you friends before, then maybe it was their fault but if you keep losing them then maybe, its YOUR fault. have you ever thought of that? and now shelle's mom thinks less of me because of lies YOU said. guess it must feel REAL good huh knowing that i can never go to shelle's place or hangout with her so much because of you huh. yeap guess it must rock to be you now.i cant believe you'd stoop so slow. yuck.
so yeah.that summarizes my day.
bitch talk
cat fight
hatred
i hate you eudora chua.
and sorry isnt even enough to cover the hurt cost.
had a candy cane at 6:32 PM
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arghargharghh..im frustrated. right now, things are just going all heywire for me oph wait a minute. NO ONE EVEN READS THIS so why the fuck should i bother?
my bad my bad.
had a candy cane at 8:12 PM
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ah.my little sis is playing the piano now.
lets see..things i did today:
1)had loadza fun with my bff.
2)saved money!
3)got to know shelle even moreee
4)planned a funfilled day with shelle
5)did physics notes*beams!*
hahah okay.so these arent exactly the BIG achievements that i was hoping to achieve but nontheless, it feels wayy good.=). it makes me feel real, like something worthwhile did come out from my day.so yeah.cheers!=)
heh.oh well, i played with my philips geometricks thingamajig and its really funny.i had CURLY HAIR! hahaha.it totally reminded me of nanny tang tt stupid doorknob but it was funny.then i straightened ir back and did these crimps and now its still crimped-tres bien!=)
oh well, here to the woggly doorknob in my class- lifes just fine without you
heh.ciaozy.
had a candy cane at 9:37 PM
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oooh.you doorknob.
I can forgive, but I won't forget.
I'll wish for you, I'll plead and I'll steal.
Hold me precious, hold me dear.
I'll wish for you,
I'll sing and I'll feel.
Don't stultify, don't hold me high.
Like a Gothic staple, a last good-bye,
One way to float is if you die.
And it's over, it's over, it's over
(this is for you, you know who you are)
this is for shelle:
THANKS!!! heh.hahaha.thanks for being at my birthday and thanks for seeing how i felt though i was trying to be happy and optimistic about stuff. and thanks for tigger.hes the cutest
love ya girl friend.
had a candy cane at 4:40 PM
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ahhhhh...my birthday.it seems to fly here especially fast this year..whOo.15..15..wow.i feel so different and yet the same.
its like ive grown up in my thinking and how i act and ive learnt to find my own character and now, im 15, and i feel grown up yet still a little kid. this totally blows me away. anyway, all i wanna say is that, thanks to all the people who have helped me find my way and loved me just coz im me. thanks a million.
had a candy cane at 5:35 PM
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